Tear In My Heart

Chapter Thirteen

Warnings: Minor angst

Word Count: 2301

Authors' Note: We hope you enjoy this chapter! :)

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July 2017 - Beginning of the Hiatus

You zipped up the suitcase that you had just finished unpacking and shoved it towards the closet to be tucked away until the next time you needed it. Josh watched as it rolled past him and then went back to folding the pile of shirts that was sitting next to his legs.

"Josh, you really don't have to sit in here and help me fold shirts. I know you have better things to do."

"I don't think any of the work stuff that Tyler is trying to get me to do could beat sitting in here and spending time with you," he smiled.

"If you insist," you said, hoping it would come across as nonchalant despite the butterflies that were currently overtaking your stomach.

"Besides, I want you to feel at home here and the sooner we get your room cleaned and organized, the sooner this might start to feel like home."

You wanted to make a comment about how it already did as long as Josh was around, but decided against it. Your breakup with Beau had only been a few short weeks ago and you weren't really looking to throw yourself into another relationship, no matter how much you cared for Josh. There was still some healing that needed to take place before you felt ready to fully love someone again.

"Here, do you want to do the honors?" you asked, handing Josh a picture of you and Beau that you had just taken out of a frame.

"You don't want to?"

"No. I always hated that picture of us."

"Why? You look nice."

"We got into a huge fight when we got home that night. He screamed at me for what felt like hours and I'm still not entirely sure what I did wrong. I just think of that every time I look at it."

Josh ripped the photo in half with no hesitation and tossed the remnants into a nearby trash bag. You, meanwhile, put a new picture of you, Tyler, and Josh from the early days of the band into the frame and set it up on the dresser.

"What do you think?" you asked.

Josh stopped folding for a moment to look at it. "I like that photo."

"Me too. That picture only has good memories attached."

"I'm glad."

You took a moment to look around the room at all the stuff you had left to unpack. Tyler and Josh had taken you over to Beau's a few days ago to collect all of your things so that you could put an end to the relationship once and for all. Josh had walked around the house with you to help you feel safe and carry things out while Tyler stood in the kitchen with Beau, staring him down. You were glad to finally have your stuff, but you were quickly realizing how much of it brought up bad memories when you looked at it.

You took a deep breath and pushed the thought aside. Beau was out of your life, Josh had offered for you to stay with him as long as you needed, and there was plenty of time ahead to make new memories. Even despite dealing with the aftermath of your breakup, this was the most hopeful you had felt in a long time.

"What is this?" Josh asked, holding up a notebook.

You recognized it instantly, but tried not to let the panic show on your face. It was one of the journals you had been keeping over the last few years, which just so happened to describe in great detail the way that you felt about Josh. You had kept it hidden away in your t-shirt drawer so that Beau would never find it, but you had evidently forgotten to take it out as you were hastily packing things up.