1985
Boston, Massachusetts
Conan woke up at 10 am and decided to visit Lindsey to talk about the trip. The truth is, he was barely able to sleep that night. He was stressed, and sad. He looked tired. He was thinking about June all the way to Lindsey's place, and he wanted to visit June, to tell her he was an idiot, and to ask for her forgiveness. But he knew June was probably hurt, and didn't want to talk to him at all. He understood that. He hoped it wouldn't last long. And he also wanted to be a good friend to her.
Friend? Friends don't kiss each other, and he knew that. Friends don't desire their friend's lips. Friends don't... yeah. Friends don't do that. Maybe June was more than a friend, or maybe he was so weak and hopeless that night that his only comfort was kissing June, to feel her lips against his, to warm him inside. It felt right, but maybe it wasn't. Conan feared he used June emotionally. It was too selfish. But deep inside he knew it was way more complicated than that.
Conan arrived at Lindsey's apartment, his mind still at June. He went up the stairs to the second floor, and knocked on the door. A thought invaded him at that very second: he might have been knocking on the wrong door.
Lindsey opened the door to greet him, but not the way he expected. "Come in."
He raised his eyebrows at her serious tone. He entered and sat on the couch.
"I wanted to ask you something." she said to him.
"Okay, sure." he replied.
She paused. "I just wanted to say that I initially refused to go to Cali because my friends are here, and my family is too. I don't know if I could abandon them."
Conan nodded. "I see."
"...but I thought about it and I think it would be great for me to go there. Lots of opportunities."
Conan smiled. "I knew you would understand."
"I also want you to cut every contact you have with June, from now on."
Conan froze. "What?"
"I don't want you to go see her, I don't want you to talk to her, and I don't want any letters when we move."
"Lee..."
"I knew she was up to something."
"It wasn't her fault, Lindsey."
"She was always with you, all the time. I knew it was no good."
"She's been my friend since I was fifteen!" he said, surprised by what was happening.
Lindsey shook her head, already noticing Conan's resistance. "I saw you with her that day, and it just tells me you are more than friends. I don't want that."
Conan wanted to say it completely his fault. He wanted it, he desired her lips, he wanted that kiss. But he knew it was wrong of thinking about her that way. He messed up his relationship pretty badly, and he felt like his friendship wasn't better either. Maybe June needed some time alone, but not like this. Conan never had imagined a life without June. He didn't even think it was possible. And now he had to deal with an extremely difficult choice.
"I told you I was sorry. We don't need to do this."
"It's either June or me, Conan."
