Track 07

Chapter Forty-Three

Your head feels like somebody smashed it with a hammer. All the noises from outside seem to be screaming at you and the soft sunlight feels like a neon flashlight shining directly into your eyes. You slam the pillow over your head. MAKE IT STOP!!! But no one hears you. Then suddenly, it hits you. Fuck! Why is this pillow black? Why does it smell so different? Where the hell are you?

You open your eyes just a tad, and all you can see is black curly hair. You open them a bit wider and you can see to whom this hair is attached to. Fuck. Y/N what have you done? Why is Jungkook lying next to you? Why are you in his bed? And WHY THE FUCK AREN'T YOU WEARING ANY DECENT CLOTHES????? Where is your shirt? Where are your pants? This can not be happening right now. You start to panic.

Did you sleep with him last night? You don't remember a thing. That's exactly why you never drink. Wait. You were at Jimins last night, drinking with him. How did you end up at Jungkook's then? Your phone is lying next to you. You cringe at the brightness of your screen. Jimin texted you three times and called once.

Y/N, I didn't mean to offend you. Please call me.

Please, let's just talk about this. Where are you?

I hope you got home safe, call me when you read this.

Well, it seems like it didn't end very well with you and Jimin last night. Is that why you came to Jungkook? Were you this horny? How could you do that? If Jimin finds out, he's gonna be so mad. How could you hurt him like this? Why would you ever even sleep with Jungkook while being drunk? You don't even remember if it was good or not. This is the worst thing that could have happened.

Jimin's trust is going to be broken, Jungkook probably now thinks that you're exclusive or something like that. But you don't want Jungkook. You like him, yes. But he's not the one who makes you laugh, who you can talk to anything about. He's not the one who can read your mind, and knows you so well. He's just not Jimin.

Wait. He's not Jimin. You don't want Jungkook. You want Jimin. You finally know it. Holy shit. You're in love with Jimin. He is the one you wanted all this time. You just got distracted by Jungkook. Jimin is the sweetest, most honest and most creative guy you've ever met. He's attractive, smart and passionate. And you love him.

You can not believe your own thoughts right now. You feel how your eyes are watering up and a single tear runs down your cheek. You truly love him. You always have. From the first time you saw his smile at The Bangtan, the first time you heard his melody, the first time you heard him sing and saw him dance. You are utterly in love with Park Jimin.

But you slept with Jungkook. You blew it all. Why? You finally know your answer, but you got it totally the wrong way. You could've found out that you're in love with Jimin without sleeping with Jungkook. Sooner or later you would have noticed your feelings. But now you have to hurt two very important men in your life.

You're gonna end up alone. Jimin will hate you after this, and you don't want to be with Jungkook. You have to tell him that. Ouch. Being told that someone doesn't want you after you've slept with them is the most crucial thing. You have to be gentle with him. How will he react? Can you guys remain friends after this? You don't want to loose him completly.

Why do you have to deal with all of this so early and so hung over? Argh. You tap on Jungkook's shoulder. He turns around and looks at you. Seems like he's been awake for quite some time. "Wow someone finally woke up." He puts his phone away and smiles at you. Yes ,you can see why you slept with him last night. His smile still is really cute and he still is one of the most handsome men you've ever met.

"Jungkook, I'm sorry about last night. I don't know how it all happened, and I'm really sorry if I was weird or awkward in any way. I don't remember anything. I was so drunk. I'm sorry, I should never have come here. But I get horny when I drink. I know it's not an excuse, and I don't even know if I make sense right now. I'm so hungover. But fact is: I didn't want to sleep with you. It's not your fault. I didn't know it either, I just figured out that I'm in love with Jimin. It's a bit late now I know, and I still like you, I don't want to hurt you. But I'm really sorry we slept together. I'm sure you were amazing, I just don't remember anything. I don't have any romantic feelings towards you. I know I'm stupid and I totally understand, if you hate me now but..." "When will you stop brabbeling all this nonsense?" Jungkook interrupts you. "We didn't sleep together." "We didn't?!"