Track 07

Chapter Fifty

"So there is this guy who played a track in a club some time ago. He chose that track and it changed my life. He didn't know what he was doing. But I guess fate chose that he would be playing the song when I was working. He could've played it at any other day, but he didn't. He played it in this moment, where I didn't have my earplugs in, because I was listening to a voice memo from Lynn. He not only played the song, but he helped me find out what song it was. I kinda have the feeling that this guy is my fate turned into person." Namjoon nods and smiles while he takes notes of everything you say.

"The next man, taught me about passion. He taught me that if you believe in something, you should always give it your all. He seems cold and sleepy all the time but in reality he isn't. He believed in me, although he didn't know me. He was convinced that I would do great. This believe and the passion he brought into it changed me. I wanted to give it my best, since he was so passionate about it. He didn't even want our money. He was in it just for the fun of it and because of his passion to make music. He really loves what he does, and I never did. But seeing him being happy with his work, showed me, that maybe I should choose my career based on what I want to do. Not only on what is nearby or available." "Yoongi?" Namjoon looks up at you. You nod. "I don't want any names in this song tho. I guess they know who they are when they read the lyrics, right?" Namjoon nods: "Of course."

"The third guy is the first man I ever had feelings for. He was the first person I opened up to and let in my life like this. He made me feel comfortable. Life with him was easy. I discovered my adolesence with him. He was my first kiss ever and will forever be my first boyfriend. He hurt me pretty bad, I had my first heartbreak because of him. But that also showed me, that I am capable of those kinds of feelings. I can love, I can be broken. That's what he taught me. He taught me my feelings, he made me happy and sad, he brought me joy and anger. And because of him I truly learned to appreciate beauty, when it's right in front of me." "He opened new doors for you, would you say that?" "And that is exactly why I'm doing this together with you Namjoon." You squeeze his hand and smile at him. He nods happily and goes on taking notes.

"On to the next guy. He is the happiest person I ever met, although his life is really hard. He is going through so much struggle and has real enemies. But he still smiles all the time, and loves life. He told me that being anxious doesn't make life better. He always tries to look on the bright side. I hated everything in my life. I never even thought about, what in my life could be good, or what I could be thankful for. But even a guy like him, with no many, and his life often on the line, is thankful for minor things. Then why can't I. Because of him I try to appreciate life more. I try to be happier and less hateful towards everything. I want to smile more, just because he came into my life. If you don't know, this guy is Hoseok. Who you just met." You look at Namjoon, thinking about how Hobi just thanked you for being honest with Jungkook. He truly is a sunshine.

"This guy, is really special to me. He became very important to me in a very short period of time. I think I'll have to write most of this part for the song. This guy made me calm down, the first time I saw him. He's so reasonable and mature, and the same time makes me laugh so much. He taught me that I have something to say. I searched for my voice. He searched for my own thoughts. He made me think about what I want to portray in my songs. He taught me that words can be powerful and I learned my passion for words and writing GOOD texts with a meaning from him. I've loved writing texts before, but never cared about their message. But a text without a message, or a purpose, is useless. That's what you taught me, Joonie." You look at him with tears in your eyes. He really means a lot to you. "I did?" Namjoon is tearing up as well. "Yes, only because you are in my life, I know that my thoughts matter. That people need to hear, what I want to say. You helped me find out what it is what I want to say. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I will always be thankful for that." A single tear is running down Namjoon's cheeks. He blushes and wipes it away with his hand. "Let's move on to the next guy, please." He says. "If we keep talking about this, I will not be able to take any more notes." He chuckles softly.

"Okay, the next guy taught me something that I never thought I need to be taught. He showed me that you should never judge someone by his apperance. People may look scary, but are actually the nicest and cutest humans on earth. If you judge someone too quickly, you might end up hurting the person, or missing out on great experiences you could have with them. Just because someone looks different, they usually are nice and warm hearted people. But that's not the only thing this person taught me. He also taught me that I am desirable. Feeling desired really has had a positive impact on my self-confidence. He showed me that I am beautiful, no matter what. I never had this kind of confidence-boost. And like I said, in the beginning I judged him, but he showed me how different his personality from my judgement was. If I wouldn't have gotten myself into getting to know him, I never would have gotten this amazing experience." "Jungkook did that? Man, I can see why you nearly slept with him." You nod, still sad over the fact that you broke his and Jimin's heart.

"Okay, the last guy is the most important one. I'm sorry Joon." "It's alright, haha. I would never dare to compete with Jimin." "This is going to be the hardest part to write. I can't really find the words to describe my feelings. I'll just try as best as I can." Namjoon makes an encouraging smile and you begin to talk about Jimin.