zero • njh

• eight •

"This is so awkward."

Zayn and I are sitting between almost literally everyone from our school on the bleachers for the first actual soccer game this season, watching the jocks run up and down the field in their red uniforms. Honestly, I've never had less fun than right now in this moment.

  "Of course it is. I told you this was a stupid idea." I grunt, scrolling through my Twitter feed.
Zayn spent the whole week hiding from Liam and literally even skipped classes he had with him. He has gone crazy. And of course, instead of talking it out with him, he drags me to this damn soccer game to watch him from afar, his hood pulled over his head as if Liam would care to look through the crowd. As for Niall and I, we weren't talking in school. We pretty much avoided each other, which - to be fair - wasn't really hard. I guess in that way, Zayn and I are more similar than I thought.

   "This fucking sucks, seriously." he aggressively slams his hands on his thighs and wiggles with his leg.
   "Look," I say and put away my phone, sighing "you have to talk to him. You can't keep hiding like a fucking 5 year old that just smashed a car window with a rock and won't own up to it."
   "What if I scared him?"
   "So be it! At least you can get over him then."
He lets out a deep, frustrated sigh and hides in his hood. I prop up my arm on my thigh and let my head rest on my hand while watching the game. Our Team doesn't seem to have a good day. They hardly get the ball on the other half of the field. After a while I find myself completely lost in the game, cheering them on quietly.
When half time comes around, I sink back into my chair and groan annoyed because of their inability to play soccer properly. I watch the boys go over to get their water, which Mr. Garrison is giving out again.

   To my surprise, I notice a blonde guy waving in my direction. Somehow certain that it's Niall, I wave back at him smiling awkwardly. Good thing he won't be able to see that from afar. Also I - probably imagine - that he winks at me, which makes me smile even wider, looking even more like a dork than before. He looks absolutely dazzling in his soccer uniform.
If it wasn't for Zayn, who slams his elbow into my side, I wouldn't have noticed the giggling behind me. Slowly I look behind me, to find Jeanette and her friend Mindy laughing.
   "You didn't actually think he was waving at you, did you?" she questions and I just look at them in confusion, which makes them burst out into laughter. This time, Julia isn't here to defend me. Immediately my cheeks turn red and I turn around again, wishing the floor beneath me could open up and swallow me whole.

   When Zayn pulls me up by my arm and drags me off the bleachers their laughter is ringing in my ears like the trumpets of hells gates opening up. Once again I just pray for my invisibility to kick in again so I can live peacefully like I did before all this crap startet. Fuck high school.

   "Are you okay? You look like your soul just left your body." Zayn comments my probably white face and I just nod slowly. "Absolutely fine."
He sighs and we make our way to his car to leave this damn shit hole. I sit down on the passengers side and slam the door shut hard.
   "Fuck them, they suck anyway."
   "Of course they do." I grunt annoyed, "But they are popular enough to make me look dumb for thinking Niall fucking Horan would acknowledge my existence. Well, he kinda does, but not in a good way."
Mumbling he starts the engine and pulls off the parking lot. "Fair enough."

   I bury my face in my hands and try to come up with an excuse for why I'm not going to be able to go to school tomorrow. There is no way that I can sit through all my classes knowing that everyone thinks of me as the stupid girl who is thristing for Nialls attention. Which, for the record, I am absolutely not.
   "Do you want to grab something to eat?" Zayn asks.
   "My dad is making dinner today."
   "Coffee then?" sighing I turn to look at him.
    "Is it okay if you give me a couple of hours alone?"
I know I'm being really selfish right now. Zayn probably needs my company, but if I can't get some time to think my head will probably explode in less than an hour. "You can come eat dinner with us later if you want?" I suggest so he won't be alone all day. Also I'm the only person that knows about his struggles right now and I really want to help him get through it as much as I can.
   He gives me a small smile and nods. "That would be nice."