zero • njh

• nine •

   I really can't believe what had happened so far today. There was literally no Friday in my entire life that had been as emotionally draining as this one. It felt like I was going to faint on the spot as Mrs Horan suggested, that I could show Niall my room so she and my dad could talk. At least I think that's what her plan was. Maybe there wasn't a real reason behind her idea, but who knows.

   Anxious, I shot a look at dad, who looked as confused by her words, but what was he going to say? Oh, actually Laura, I think I'd rather have my daughter enjoy dinner with us. I would have loved for him to say that, if I'm being honest, but who am I to decide what he should or shouldn't do. Also, there was no time for me to figure out how to tell him what to say to get me out of this. So instead he said:
"Yeah, great idea."

   I wanted to punch him. Really hard. Dad knew how uncomfortable I was and he wasn't making it any better. When I looked at Niall, whose lips were curled up into a grin, my fight or flight response kicked in. Maybe if I just jumped up and left the house, I wouldn't have to deal with him, though I would have to leave forever or else dad would personally kick my butt and maybe even ground me for embarrassing him. Ignoring the nausea, I nodded slowly.
"Sure, if you want."
   "Niall would love to." Mrs Horan responded even though I clearly spoke to Niall. Somehow I got the feeling that she wasn't someone to joke around with or even talk back to. She'd find her way to keep you quiet.

   So now I'm sitting on my bed, my hands shoved between the bed and my thighs, my gaze locked onto my knees, while Niall is sitting on my white tullsta ikea armchair checking out my room. Suddenly my ceiling lamp felt awfully bright and the silence is uncomfortably irritating.
   "Your room is girly as fuck." Niall notices, making me furrow my brows.
   "Girly?"
   "Yeah. You know, like how tidy and well set up it is. And all the LED lights and... stuff."
He gets up while I try not to laugh at his comment. There is no way he could be serious, because I'm certain that my room doesn't quite fit the criteria of a girly room, considering that there is not a single shade of pink anywhere. Sure, it is well set up since dad and I planned the interior for days and got the furniture from many different places to make it fit the aesthetic, but is that girly? The only girly thing would be my dressing table with all my make up spread out messily and the round mirror on it.
   "I'd say girly has more of a pink vibe." I utter, looking around my room and earning a quiet "Maybe." from him as he proceeds to look at the stuff on my shelf.
Like Louis' sisters room, I also think, but mentioning that would just trigger memories I really don't need right now.
   "It changed a lot." he mumbles, more to himself than directed to me and sits down again.
   "Kinda happens when you grow up."
It still weirds me out how he always subtly refers back to things from our childhood. It's been way too long for those things to be relevant now.

   The awkward silence returns again. I hate having the urge to ramble just to not feel like my company is boring. Luckily I don't experience that urge often, because I usually hang out with Zayn and silence between us doesn't feel awkward at all. Though, I also don't want to start talking, because I don't want to annoy Niall with my presence. It's awful enough having to sit in a girls room you don't even like.

  "Are you and Jeanette still... a thing?" I blurt out, immediately regretting my question. Why the hell would you ask that, you moron?
Looking at Niall, I feel like crying and I mutter a quiet "Sorry.", which only makes him shake his head, grinning.
  "Why are you asking?" he asks and sounds genuinely interested in my reasons for asking such a question. I don't even know myself why I did that.
  "Uh, I-I don't know. Just wondering if you guys sorted everything out." sounded better in my head than spoken aloud, but I just have to go with it now. I mean, it isn't far off from something someone would want to know, since he is quite popular and the things he does seem to be somehow more interesting. Also, it would answer the question if he waved at me earlier today, though I'm almost certain that he didn't.
"Well," he says, running his hand through his hair making me wish it was my hand "She'd love for me to be interested in her, but I'm not."
  "Why?" While it feels weird to be interrogating him like this, it confuses me why he wouldn't wanna go out with Jeanette. To me, she seems to be the perfect fit for him. Arrogant, loud and absolutely stunning with a perfect body. Still, I feel small tingles in my stomach, because he isn't interested in her. I know how wrong it is to be happy about something like that, since I'm not interested in being his girlfriend.
  "Dunno, you saw her freak out over nothing. She's way too bossy for my liking. Also, she's a really bad kisser."
  "Figures." I sigh somehow annoyed with his response, but at least it's a genuinely relatable argument to not like someone. The bossy part, of course.
   "And what's with you and tattoo guy?
His question comes unexpected and I cringe at his nickname for Zayn. Tattoo guy, really? Seems like Niall isn't the creative kind of guy.
  "Never." I explain, "He's like a brother to me. Also, he's not into-" My heart skips a beat when I realize I almost forced his coming out onto him. Also Niall will find out soon enough, since he's friends with Liam. Awkwardly, I cough and finish my sentence with: "He's not into brunettes."