zero • njh

• fourteen •

   Soft guitar strumming wakes me up in the morning. It sounds lovely, but it's kinda hard for me to enjoy the melody. I don't even need to try to get up to know that if I did, I'd puke all over the place. The memories of last night flashing through my mind doesn't make anything better, in fact, it makes me want to stay in bed for the rest of the day.
    I don't remember every detail, but what I do remember very vividly is how I tried to seduce Niall. If I was in my own bed right now I probably would've screamed. I made a fool of myself thinking it'd be a good idea to persuade him into taking my virginity. Still, the idea itself isn't a bad one, but the execution was simply horrific. If he did, I'd die of regret right now, but still, a sting shoots through my chest as I realize the reason why nothing happened. He rejected me. I don't even know what's worse - my comical try to seduce him or the rejection.
   Niall starts to hum quietly to the melody and I think he's actually singing, but I can't understand a word. It sounds beautiful either way. Waking up like this makes me feel like I'm in another dimension. A dimension in which everything goes as planned. The better reality that's too good to be true, just like in a dream.
    Soft knocking on the door makes Niall stop and I hold my breath, trying to keep myself from opening my eyes. Curious as I am, it's fairly difficult to resist this urge. The door opens with a low squeal.
   "Good morning, honey."
It's Mrs Horan. Right when I thought this situation couldn't get worse.
   "Good morning mom." Nialls voice is soft and I'm surprised about how affectionate he sounds. For a while it's quiet and I wish I knew what they're doing right now. I try to convince myself that the reason they're silent isn't me, but deep down I know it is.
   What mother wouldn't be surprised to see her son have a girl sleep in his bed? Well, okay. Niall isn't actually the type of guy to come home alone from a party on a Friday night. I push away that thought as fast as I can. The real problem here is that his mom and my dad are friends, so there is no way I'll get out of this story that easily. In fact, there is no way out at all. It just makes me want to jump up and leave.
    "Your dad and I are leaving now. We will be back tomorrow evening." She then finally says.
    "Okay." With a sigh, Mrs Horan closes the door again and Niall resumes playing.
    I wait a few more minutes until I start to stretch my legs out and rub my eyes to get rid of the dried tears around them. Hopefully he didn't notice me crying last night. How pathetic of me. I can't believe I acted that way. When I slowly sit up and look over to Niall he flashes me a grin. He is sitting in his armchair with his guitar on his lap, looking like the beautiful creature he is, his blonde strands falling into his forehead in soft waves. My head hurts and my body feels worn out. 

   "Good morning." I greet him awkwardly and with flushed cheeks. All I hope for is that nothing is going to be weird between us, especially considering the fact that I literally threw myself at him last night.
   "Mornin'." The softness in his voice from before is replaced by coldness, maybe even by indifference, I can't really explain it. He tries to keep playing, but stops a few seconds later and puts away his guitar. I know he doesn't like me staring, but I can't look away.
  If I didn't feel so dizzy I could probably figure out why his face looks so plain, without any emotion, but I just can't. I have no idea why he is acting like this. Did I make him feel uncomfortable?
   "Listen," I try to get his attention so I can explain myself. "About last night, I-"
   "It's okay." he cuts me off before I can even start with the explanation. "You were wasted. I get it. Just forget about it. Get ready and I'll take you home."
Confused I nod.

    Though, forgetting about it seems like an intriguing thing to do, it's hard to forget certain aspects of it.
   You're just a little brat that doesn't know the consequences for falling for the wrong people, his voice echoes through my head. That's obviously something I won't forget. Yes, there's lots of reasons why you don't want to get involved with Niall Horan. But I think there are also good sides to him. He's intelligent, charming, talented and I might even dare say that he's caring to some degree. If he didn't care about me, he wouldn't have rejected me, he would've just taken advantage of me. The fact that he didn't makes him a whole lot nicer. I should probably be glad he didn't.
   Right now, though, he sounds like he doesn't care about me at all and he just wants to get rid of me as fast as possible. Or he's just tired. Probably just tired...