Drunken stuper

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I wake up with the biggest headache I've ever had. Ashton smiles at me.
"What the hell did I do last night?" I was drunk out of my mind I remember nothing.
"Well you were flirting with me" he says.
"But you're my boyfriend"
"But you asked if I'm single and I said no you cried" I screw my eyes shut. That's embarrassing.
"You got mad at a fire hydrant cuz it wouldn't move out of your way" oh god why am I like this?
"You ordered a 10 inch dildo on amazon, it's coming tomorrow" I scrunch my nose. How much did I drink?
"You told Calum, Luke, and Mike how good I am at anal, and we've never done that"
"Oh good lord I'm mortified"
"They laughed, it was all good fun" he kisses my forehead.
"How are you even still dating me?" I question.
"It's hard" he responds. I laugh.
"Ya something else is too" I say punting downwards.

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