Covered Eyes (No Name Levi X Eren)

Chapter 32 ~ Learning from Past Mistakes

After Furlan fills me in on what he knows about Lovof, past and present, although he doesn't say how he knows about him from the past. I decide it's best not to push since it's obviously not a good reason and when he finishes, we rejoin the cousins. We each hold our significant other as the calm silence settles in the room. It's later in the night than I expected and Eren starts to doze off while laying on me. Just like the first night he was with us, he sleeps with his head is in my lap. This time I'm just playing with his hair out of habit and he smiles in his sleep.

Isabel sits on Furlan's lap, who has his hands around her to keep her close. I recognize the protective posture he has, scared to lose her again.

"Thank you Levi, for saving Eren." Isabel quietly speaks up, her face barely visible from where she's rested it on his shoulder.

"It was nothing Isabel," I respond. "I'm just glad we were able to."

Eren curls more into me. Perhaps a bad dream, or maybe just cold, either way I pull the blanket from the top of the couch and cover him with it.

"Y'know you two seem to be made for each other." She giggles a little.

I look down at him and smirk a little, "I guess you could put it like that."

"He couldn't stop talking about you," Isabel looks to me, smiling tirely.

"And you, him." Furlan mentions.

I look up to the two. "Well, I'm crazy about him, I'm a better person with him, a happier person." Perhaps I do talk about him a lot. He's just such a positive person in my life, in such a pure and genuine way. No matter the situation, he looks for a reason to fight and never loses that strength. I need that in my world, everyday. I need to be able to wake up to him, to hear his laugh, to hold in comforting silence, to remind me that there's so much to the world.

My mood falls for a moment, a terror filling me over possibly losing him, and unfortunately it's a familiar feeling I've gone through, more times than I'd ever want to remember. It's like it already has a pocket in my stomach it like to occupy. Hell, I think I'm starting to understand just why we fell in love so quickly again.

"Levi? Are you okay?" Furlan asks.

"I'm just... worried," I answer. "I wish I could stop Eren from doing this, I'm scared he's going to get hurt but..."

"You know he would never be happy," Isabel finishes, softly and distant.

I nod, "I know it will always weigh on him. So it's better to go with him than try to stop him and have him go after Lovof alone."

Furlan seems to recognize the dilemma I'm in and his face seems to go dark, obviously remembering something unpleasant. "You're doing the right thing." His voice sounds venomous, aimed at me for something only I could possibly know. The problem is I don't know why I feel like it's justified. He looks away from me as I raise an eyebrow.

Isabel yawns and I finally notice she's now sleeping, her face in the crook of Furlan's neck.

"What happened?" I ask, needing to have the blanks filled.

"Levi," Furlan hesitates, turning back to me, realizing I don't know what he's referencing. He huffs in frustration. "You don't need to-"

"Furlan, what happened?" I repeat, quietly but forcefully.

He grimaces for a second. "We, we dealt with Lovof first hand... Isabel, you and me took a job from him." He growls, closing his eyes.

The memory hits like a flash grenade, and I can see the lacky Lovof sent, the eagerness in Furlans eye to take the job and assure it works for us. I can remember Isabel's eyes when living on the surface was mentioned. The way Mike and Erwin ambushed me, having my face shoved into the mud. The way my skin crawled being covered in filth. The corner we were backed into.

"And so we went into the Scouts. To steal the evidence Captain Erwin had against Lovof before he sent it to have Lovof taken down."

Training rushes back, the looks we were given, the doubt in their eyes, their disgust at our individuality. Their mission was to take back the land outside of the walls for humanity. Their symbol was a set of blue and white wings. I remember the way the sun painted the outside world on the first trip out of the wall, the wide smile on Isabel's face, the wonder in Furlan's eyes. I remember the fresh air feeling like a drug in my lungs, the different feeling of riding a horse compared to the straps tugging against my skin. I can feel the hesitancy I was concealing as we took down that first monster...

"But things went South."

It was raining hard, you couldn't even see a foot in front of you. There was no guarantee either way. We had a job to do, and if Erwin was killed by something other than us, we were screwed. I thought they'd be safer with the squad.

"But you convinced Isabel and me that we should trust you, that you needed to complete the job."

So I left, and I found the next squad massacred... The panic I felt when I realized what that meant, the danger I'd put them in by leaving them. I rushed back but...

"The last thing I remember was seeing that huge grinning face at me..." He bites his lip.

I remember finding Isabel dead and watchin the blonde before me killed. I remember seeing red, and then every slice I made in that titan, I remember going at it over and over until I finally killed it. Until I finally killed them.

I remember Erwin forcing my hatred onto those creatures, the way he manipulated my anger not only away from him, but myself as well. There was an admiration I had for his way with people that sparked that day. That's why I stayed, I was lost otherwise and he had a drive in him that I needed in my life.

"So I'm glad you're deciding to stick with Eren, it seems you really believe in him." Furlan finishes, as if trying to strike a final blow to me.

Because of Erwin, back then, it doesn't actually hurt that bad. Sure it stings like a papercut, but I'm able to consider more of the big picture.

I don't say anything for a moment. "I believed in you. I believed in the both of you and you both trusted me." I reminded. "Maybe things would have been different if you and Isabel survived, but they wouldn't have been any better."

Furlan glares at me, and I stare back, as stoick faced as I am with everyone else. "Things changed as time went on," I continued on. "Enemies became allies and allies, enemies. Nothing was ever black and white."

Furlan's gaze softens, a splash of regret and pity lighting in his eyes just as he turns away.

"This life, with you two safe and together, this is what you and Isabel deserve, and I'm going to make sure Lovof doesn't take it from you again." I promise.

Furlan stands up with Isabel in his arms and sighs. "Sorry, Levi, I didn't mean to-"

"You did, and that's okay." I interrupt. "I owe this to the both of you, and I'm going to do it right this time."

"Goodnight Levi," He gives a nod before walking to what I assume is the two's bedroom.

I look back to Eren as his eyes open and stare up into mine. "Levi?" His voice is soft and timid like a child waking up from a nightmare. His eyes are so filled with concern, I realize how much he could have heard of our conversation. "What was that all about?"