The Halo Effect | ✓

30 | feelings

E P I G R A P H

❝ If you are not enough for yourself,
you'll never be enough for someone else.❞

☾ thirty | feelings ☽

Halo's POV

I SPENT SEVERAL hours drawing tonight, hours and hours. I couldn't find myself putting down the pencil, I just wanted to keep going and going and going, it was pouring out of me like it was nothing. I was purely breathing art, covering each page of my sketch book with everything my heart desires.

I felt obsessive for drawing so many art pieces revolved around Holt, but a poet writes from their own experiences and the things they adore the most. . .that was me, but instead of a typewriter and deep thoughts, it was a pencil and my buried feelings.

Holt has dappled from girl to girl in the past, I know that. But god, I doubt any adored him the way I do. I feel like a child with an intense crush.

I found myself earning to draw how I feel, but it's so hard to put the somersaults my heart does when he smiles and the electricity beneath my skin that shocks me like lightening to metal when he touches me, but that's what he does to me.

Instead I found myself outlining waves, not silky blue ones, but grey ones thrashing into one another. I didn't know why I drew it at the start, I didn't know what it represented. But then I realized.

Holt is the ocean, the color of the waves represented his irises, the roughness was his for his calloused hands and the steady yet rapid pace of the fringed waves were for the beating of my heart when I am around him, each wave was one more inclination my heart exceeds when I am around him.

And then, there I am. I'm in a boat, a small one floating a top of the waves. My ores are in the water, and though the image was still and not moving, I knew that if it was, I'd be trying to vastly get to the shore, I was alarmed by the harshness of the sea, but the waves—Holt, kept pulling me back in. I'd get near the shore and his arms like waves pull me back into him.

There were lightning strikes in the background, portraying a sea storm. It had to be one of my most favorite things I had drawn in a while. I couldn't help but wonder about Holt, I know he loves the whole literature world, I recall him mentioning that he loves writing as well, I wonder if he's still doing that, or if he forgot about it for a while like I did with art.

It's strange how your most favorite things can be drowned out by your every day life until eventually weeks pass and you find yourself missing what was once a part of your everyday routine.

After an elongated time period consumed my me sitting at my desk, coating the pages in front of me, Kristel payed a visit, bringing Jax and Nova over.

It felt good to see them, I haven't seen them at all since the night I baby sat them with Holt. They were pleased to see me, as I was with them. Though, the kids specifically weren't being very wary around my arm, hence me departing back to my room shortly after.

Barely an hour later, a knock sounded at my door and in came my well-missed red headed best friend. She scolded me immediately for not telling her immediately about my sustained injury, but when I explained the circumstances, she understood.

Esme always understands.

She told me about the incident with her dad, but she told me that he's okay. They've put him on some strong medication, he just had high stress levels, resulting in a high blood pressure. Esme said that after losing his job, his mental health plummeted.