Author's POV
Jin feels weird. He doesn't know if he likes jungkook or not. He knows that whenever the guy's close he feels something on his heart... A weird feeling, but it feels good.
But... He also feels like he can't talk. Whenever jungkook is close, but he also feels that with another person.
He knew what he meant when jungkook said "I like you" he knew. He was just messing around. Well. Trying to. He knows that he hurt the boy's feelings and he feels guilty because of that. Jungkook is a good guy, and jin knows that. He knows it too well.
Jungkook has been hurt. Lots of times. Jin didn't know that jungkook likes him... Well... He knew, but he wasn't sure of that. "Why would someone ever like me?" That's what jin thought. But jin's wrong.
There's people that love him and a lot.
Jungkook's POV
The night has been or felt so long. Really long... I could barely sleep. Not because of what jin said at all. But if I'm honest all night I thought about what jin said to me.
He was acting so weird when he told me that. Maybe he likes another guy and he doesn't want to tell me? Or maybe even a girl. I don't know... Maybe jin doesn't trust me, as I think he does. Maybe I'm too clingy?
I woke up a few hours ago. Jin's beside me sleeping still. We slept in the living room if I'm honest I didn't enjoy the night...
I felt a weird aura. Jin was acting really weird, so was I. Whenever we sleep together I usually hug him, but today I didn't. As expected this is too awkward.
(45 minutes after, I'm lazy)
It's almost 10 and I have to be at home at 11 am. So I better hurry up. Jin woke up already and it was awkward. He didn't even say "good morning" or "hi, how'd you sleep?" nothing. He just went to the bathroom.
I guess he's still mad at me. As I keep walking towards the bathroom I heard sobs. "Jin-ah are you okay? Uhm... I just wanted to tell you that I'm gonna take my clothes... I have to be at home at 11" I got no answer. So I decided to open the bathroom door.
Jin's on the floor, crying. I walked slowly towards him. "Jin-ah are you okay?"
"W- why are do doing this to me?" Jin said as he cried. "What do you mean?" I asked confused. What's going on?
"Why you always try to make me feel like everything's okay when it's not? Why do you care about me? I don't understand why you're always beside me like a little dog. Why you do it? I don't deserve it, I don't deserve you... I'm just some random guy that you crashed with. A guy who had no friends, a guy whose parents treat me like bullshit. I've been always focusing on things, school but never in dating.
Why? Because I don't deserve someone to love me. I don't know why you do it. Why do you keep trying? You're always trying even when you know that I might never date you, or someone because I can't. If I date someone my dad would kill me. That's why I've never fallen in love with a girl or a guy because I'm not ready and because it'll be so hard for me to love someone. It's not okay that I love you, it's not okay.
It's not okay that whenever you're close to me I feel like I'm gonna faint, it's not okay that whenever you talk to me I want to hug you so badly and tight. It's not okay to feel this, it's unhealthy. It's not okay. It's not okay that I wanna be with you all day and just watch movies and lay down.
It will never be okay. I don't know why you make me feel like I deserve to be loved when I don't. I don't know why when you're with me I feel safe like I can trust you. I don't know and it's really making me crazy. I really don't know why you make me feel this way. It's not like I deserve you, and don't say that I do when I don't there's many people that would love to have you as a friend even boyfriend.
But why did you choose me? Why? I'm not special, I'm not worth it. I've tried several times to stay away so my heart doesn't feel this way but it never works. When you weren't here I felt so empty, like if I had lost something that makes me want to live. You. Jeon Jungkook are the most amazing person I've ever met. I don't know why you care about me. I don't deserve it."
"Jin- I-" I had no words. I couldn't talk. My heart felt so happy and sad at the same time. "I keep trying because I love you, and I know that you will never date me and I can't force you. It's just that I really do love you... I know that might be the more cheesy thing that I'm gonna say but argh Kim SeokJin! Why do you make feel like this?" I giggled a bit as I walked towards him and starting hugging him.
"I love you jungkookie" Jin said and my heart did a thing. I felt butterflies on my stomach. I got goosebumps, "I- I love you too, uum... I told you that I need my clothes, where did you put them?" I said as I tried to take off my body from his but he didn't let me, he was hugging too tight. "Uhm... Jin?"
"What?" Jin asked as he looked at me with puppy eyes. "I need my clothes" I said firmly.
"Oh yes... Fuck- sorry.. Uhm let me just-" he stopped hugging me and stood up. If I'm honest when he stopped hugging me, my body felt cold. I just followed him by behind.
___
baby seokjinie is a baby who loves jungkook but also another person:( i almost cried while writing this ha.
