Secret Games

9

Laela's P.O.V

Maths was literally so intense, it had become by far my favorite subject, but it wasn't because of the content, obviously: We had the best time. After Noah and I made out, I couldn't help but think about all the endless possibilities: Would we start a relationship, or would we forget about it and pretend it never happened? Would it start being a regular make-out session, or just a once in a while treat?
I went through it so many times that my brain started to hurt, but luckily Noah decided to put me out of my misery. He threw a crumpled up piece of paper at my head, and then smiled at me apologetically, indicating for me to open it. Feeling my heart pumping faster and faster, I opened it.

"After what happened at the party, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I like you more than words can describe, I would like to talk to you in person. Even if it's the hardest way to express my feelings, is the right thing to do."

I stared at him in the eye trying to connect us into a single look, trying to make him feel as though we were one. I wanted him to let him know that our love was reciprocal. And that even though it had taken me a while to realize, I did actually feel things for him and every day it was harder not to admit it. There is something in the way he laughs. There is something pure in the way he does what is right. He is the kind of creative person that brings such magic and interest to life, the one that enjoys the sparking of ideas.

The bell rang, I started to pack my things and carelessly tossing them inside my backpack. As I was gently closing it Noah grabbed my hand and dragged me through the corridors.
"Where are we going?!"- I asked
"You'll soon find out!"
We arrived at the entrance of the school. He looked at me, he wasn't nervous, he was confident. He grabbed my hands gently. My heart was pounding inside my chest. I could feel its beat as if it was trying to escape as if this was too hard to cope with.

"I have to fulfill my dreams and I will, every time I try to tell you I never make it." He told me "I tried to ignore what destiny kept wanting to teach me, what I cannot avoid seeing. And at last, I realized that no matter how hard I tried, I will never forget you. I learned to be satisfied with the intensity of the brief instants I shared with you. Only being your friend was never enough for me. And that's why I know that despite everything, you made my life worth living and I would like to be with you, I love you."

I wanted to wrap him in my arms and never let go. My skin tingled where he touched me and my heartbeat erratically in my chest so hard that I thought it might fly out. There were butterflies in my chest, but it felt good. I finally admitted to myself what I knew all along, but was too afraid to admit it: I liked him. A lot. And I wanted to be with him.

I couldn't find my voice. I felt my cheeks flushed hot, and my stomach was heavy. My heart pounded in my throat, threatening to break out. His eyes wandered around the crowd behind us. Mine stayed locked on him. How many love songs had I heard that said, "He takes my breath away"? Now that line made a lot of sense. A smile curled along my lips and the air grew thick with a tenderness that somehow steadied my respiration and made me breathe slower, deeper, happier. But then my smile disappeared: What have I gotten myself into? Noah's feelings for me were so sweet, so intense, and... more that I could handle.

"I can't believe I never noticed you as I do now, and I... I....I'm sorry but I can't..." I took one last longing look at his beautiful, blue eyes, and run away. At first, I had no idea why I did it, but after crying for hours and hours in the school bathroom and then into my pillow, the reality finally kicked in. What I felt for Noah was just a glimpse of what he felt for me. His passion He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve me. I just know that I'm looking back at what I had done, at what WE had done, I regret every single thing I did to end it.

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