Homeless and in Love

C H A P T E R 18

Kia Jones

"I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, and He will hear me. In my day of trouble I sought the Lord. My hands were lifted up all night long; I refused to be comforted. I think of God; I groan; I meditate; my spirit becomes weak."

Eddy invited Kia and Dom to church with there family to give them a break from what was happening around them.

"Right away we hear the hopelessness. Asaph draws pictures with words that depict desperation. For instance, the word trouble in v. 2 describes a feeling of being confined, of the walls closing in. Asaph felt like he was in a dark tunnel, only there is no light at the end. When he says his soul refuses to be comforted, he means he tried to shake this off by the normal means we all resort to, but it wasn't working. He closes v. 3 saying that when he meditates - when he ponders the situation, trying to think his way through his problems - my spirit becomes weak. His emotions sabotage reason. The escape of sleep eluded him. He stretched out his hand like a drowning man, longing to be saved."

Kia placed her hand on top of Dom's and intertwined them. Dom smiled lifting her hand up so he can kiss it before placing it on his lap.

"Perhaps you can identify with Asaph's feelings. But don't miss what his first response. In his battle with depression, he doesn't pretend. He doesn't bury his disillusionment. He doesn't fake happiness. There's no indication that he turned to food or shopping, alcohol or gambling, pornography or any number of other means people commonly use to cope. Instead, he got honest with God. Really honest! I cry aloud to God, aloud to God. He shouted to God. He yelled his prayer. In v. 3, he describes this further: I think of God; I groan--and the word groan can mean everything from a quiet noise to a raging explosion."

"Down in v. 7-9, Asaph fills in some of the content of his prayers: "Will the Lord reject forever and never again show favor? Has His faithful love ceased forever? Is [His] promise at an end for all generations? Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has He in anger withheld His compassion?"
Asaph cycled through a wide and uncontrollable range of emotions, but he didn't try to hide that from God. He was real and reverent, honest yet humble. He asked God the hard questions that depression raises. And we find no indication that God is put off by that kind of unvarnished truthfulness." As the Deacon continued to preach Kia felt Dom feelings radiating from him to her

"My friend, let the wisdom of one in the hard fellowship of the depression come to you. Don't be ashamed to admit your inner turmoil, thinking that voicing your questions will offend God. He really wants to hear from you, straight up. In fact, the Bible promises that "the LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." (Ps. 34:18) Pour out your heart, loud or soft. He's waiting to hear from you."

Kia started to tune out thinking about Dom and their relationship so far. Out of the five years they've been married she never would expected things to get this complicated. She wanted everything to go back to normal. She felt something wet on her hand making her break out of her thoughts. Looking up she saw the tears falling down his face. Using the pad of her thumb she wiped them away and snuggled closer to him laying her head on his shoulder.

"I love you." She whispered rubbing the back of his neck

"I'll get help." He whispered loud enough for her to hear

She nodded kissing his cheek. "Shh." This lady who was sitting next to them said

Dom wiped his face and mugged her. "Bitch who the f–." Kia chuckled covering his mouth

"Okay Jr." She rolled her eyes and removed her hand

Dom grabbed it and licked her palm. "Could you not?" She asked scrunching up her face

Wiping her hand across his suit. "G–." He cut himself off

Grabbing his handkerchief he placed it in her hand and turned his attention back to the sermon. The pastor was wrapping it up and the choir started walking out.

After the service

"Bitch shut the fuck." Eddy mocked laughing

"Her old saggy skin having ass shouldn't never said nothing to me." They where standing outside getting ready to leave

Dom turned his head seeing Kia talking to Maggie, smiling and laughing every so often.

"You straight?" Eddy asked snapping in his face

Dom sucked his teeth and smacked his hands away. "I'm straight, I appreciate you coming when Kia called you. You didn't have to."

"I already told you I got you." Eddy told him

Dom nodded turning his attention back to Kia. Feeling eyes on her she turned around and met his. Kia blew him a kiss and he caught it placing it in his pocket before patting his heart.

"Corny." Eddy coughed mushing his head

"Get your ass beat in front of the church."

Eddy bucked at him and they walked towards where Kia and Maggie was.

"Their coming but remember what I told you Kia." Maggie said hugging her

"I will thanks Maggie."

Dom furrowed his brows and smirked. He walked up to Maggie and hugged her.

"Dom you feeling better? Cursing inside the church." Maggie smacked the back of his head and he chuckled

"I am fine actually. Thank you for everything you have done for me. I still got y'all when I'm straight."

"No need." She pulled back and looked from Kia to Dom

"Remember Kia w–."

"She get it Maggie damn let's go." Jim complained rolling his window up

"Right hurry up aunty I'm hungry." Eddy mumbled getting in the back seat

Maggie waved them off. "Do you guys want to come over for dinner?" She asked sweetly

"Maybe another time, were heading to her folks house in a little while before she meet up with her lawyers." Dom told her

Maggie nodded placing a kiss on their cheeks. She whispered something in Kia ear and Kia nodded. They watched Maggie hop in the passenger seat. Waving ass Jim pulled off.

"So what were y'all talking about?" Dom asked wrapping his arms around her

They started walking towards the car. "You." Kia anwsered patting his chest

"What about me?" He opened the door for her and she got in

"Don't worry about it." He shook his head and shut her door

Walking towards his side wondering what they were talking about. What about him?