It's all over

Fuck!

The alarm clock screeches as if it were a cat being murdered, an awful way to wake up and as I open my eyes the first word that comes to mind is 'fuck' why do I have to do this again? Why do I have to get up and pretend like I enjoy the eternal misery we call life? When all I want to do is shut the world out forever.

I'm Kurt Hummel I'm sixteen years old and I'm a junior in High school and I'm alone. Now you may be thinking everyone feels this way when they're in High school but I'm serious my so called friends are all fake as fuck and so am I but I'm not fake in the way you may be thinking. I'm genuine and up front with people that's what I'm known for Kurt Hummel is a diva but I lie. I lie everyday to everyone. I lie when it's hot outside and people ask me why I'm wearing long sleeves. I reply "haven't you heard sleeves are the new trend and we all know one Kurt Hummel knows his style" people just tend to believe me and go about there day. My step-brother Finn is more concerned whether or not talking to me is worth the rep he gets off his teammates on the football team. The entire glee club acts as if there problems are life threatening and mine are minuscule even though I'm the one with my life being threatened by a Neanderthal. Although, Karofsky, my bully, is not the only one threatening my life because I am.

I self harm. A lot. I do it like it's a sport. I hold on to it like a life line when really it could be the the thing that kills me. The good little school boy I used to be disappeared when the scars started appearing. I got sloppy with work and attendance because some days I just couldn't get out of bed. I skip classes to sit at the back of the school by the dumpsters and smoke. I go there just because no one can no if people start to detect something it might ruin me and even though he probably doesn't want a fag like me for a son I can't risk my father having another heart attack because his messed up son is smoking and cutting class and well cutting in general.
All I want is for things to go back to normal or maybe not normal maybe I need things to change completely like let my family have a life without a disappointment dragging them down maybe all I need is to end it for hood.

No sooner does that thought cross my mind there's a knock at my door which happens to be my dad telling me that he let Finn take my navigator, my baby, to school and that I have to walk which by the way what the fuck. It's my car but you know Finn has urgent matters to attend like football and oh yea managing his dwarf girlfriend who happens to be a psycho but obviously that's more important than me. I groan walk into the bathroom connected to my room and hop in a quick shower. When I exhort I'm drying off with a towel and looking at the fresh cuts on my arm that I made yesterday. After I've done my rigorous morning facial routine and styled my hair into a perfect coiff I pick out a pale grey button down shirt with long sleeves and a charcoal metallic grey waist coat red skinny jeans that may prohibit me having biological children when I'm older and finish off with my white Doc Martins.

After what feels like an eternity of walking I manage to get to school on time and make it to my locker when I notice a new student. He had jet black hair gelled perfectly the most golden honey eyes you've ever seen a huge smile showcasing perfect teeth with a tight bright red collared polo shirt on tucked into his black skinny jeans rolled up at the ankles with a pair of red and black vans. His shirt displays his surprisingly muscular form and as I stare at him all I can think is that this is the most beautiful, Captivating, sexy young man I've ever seen.