It's all over

I don't know how it got like this.

I was Pacing up and down my drive waiting for Blaine to come get me, I was freaking out rethinking everything I said in there. Was I too harsh? then again I'd been out here for twenty minutes and no one had come to check on me or check if I was even there. I Knew I was right they wouldn't miss me if I was gone. It felt like I wasn't even apart of the family any more like me and my mom had been replaced by Carole and Finn. My dad was happy and in love, which of course I was so about, he had the son that he always wanted and I was nothing anymore. Maybe it was for the best and I could stop kidding myself that people actually cared about me.

No sooner had that thought crossed my mind had Blaine showed up outside my house. I ran to him and got in his car "Thank you so much for this you have no idea what this means to me, I really couldn't stay in that house much longer." Blaine smiled at me with a smile that was so bright it could light up the night sky and said "You're welcome Kurt, any time you need me I'll be here I want you to know that" Blaine said that last part while lifting my chin and looking into my eyes.

 The sincerity in his eyes made me swoon I've tried to deny my feelings for him but I can't...I think I'm falling completely head over heels for Blaine Anderson.

Blaine and I chatted the whole way to his house keeping the subject light and it was exactly what I needed; it helped me relax a little and calm the rapid beating of my heart as I'm about to sleep in the same house as a boy I'm in love with. 

W pulled up to his house and I got out, there was a pounding in my ears because I was so nervous but I reminded myself that we were just friends and this was Blaine, sweet, funny, smart, handsome Blaine who has been there for me through everything. We get into his house and there's a strange feeling here, the house almost feels empty. There is no light on in the living room or even one upstairs, the seemingly perfect family home was engulfed in darkness.

I was pulled off my train of thought when Blaine led me upstairs and to his bedroom. As we got inside he smiled at me sheepishly and then concern flashed across his face as what appeared to be realization struck him. Then he approached me cautiously and took my hands in his, I blushed at his actions and felt electricity shoot up my arm and travel into my heart; which made me turn beet red and smile, My smile quickly fell as the words spilled out of Blaine's mouth "Kurt can you lift up your sleeve for me please" I stood frozen to my place as my heart suddenly went ice cold and the electricity I felt earlier fizzled into nothing more than an ember of light soon to be put out. He was just like everyone else, he didn't trust me. "What?" I questioned wanting to make sure I heard him correctly. He looked at me again with that smile that could light up this whole town. Although it looked a little more forced this time, there was an underlying fear in his eyes as he asked me again "Can you lift your sleeves up for me please? I don't mean to intrude it's just you were under a lot of stress and I just want to make sure that if you have done anything to yourself that it's properly taken care of." That ember of light suddenly reignited into a full fledged flame that melted the ice in my heart and here I was melting into Blaine Andersons words. He cares about me, he actually cares about me. 

There was a pause before I lifted up my sleeves and revealed my old wounds and the scars of how I tried to kill myself which is actually heling quite nicely. There's a sharp intake of breath and I look into Blaine's eyes he looks sad, I don't ever want to be the reason he's sad. I pull my sleeves down quickly before speaking up. "Did you um mean w-what you said?" I asked, He looked at me with those big brown pools of honey "Of course I did Kurt, I only want to take care of you" He said his word full of sincerity "Then there's something I want to show you but you have to turn around." I said.

"Um okay" He sounded confused but I didn't dwell on it because I wiggled put of my cotton pants and was left standing in my boxers. I blushed as the realization dawned on me that he might get the wrong impression but it was too late because I tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around and looked at me. He quirked his eyebrows in confusion until he looked down and seen by bare legs he blushed a deep red as he stared at his hands which were dangled suspiciously in front of his crotch. 

"I cut myself yesterday on my leg" It took him a minute to compose himself as the redness in his face faded and his eyes zeroed in on my leg where there was three small lines, that looked red and angry.  "Here sit down" he said after he hugged me and my heart fluttered, however it became slightly awkward as we both realized I have no pants on. I flushed a violent red and looked at Blaine whose cheeks where also aflame. He coughed nervously before going into the bathroom to retrieve a first aid kit. He took out an anti-septic wipe and cleaned it before putting a band-aid on. 

Afterwards he just stared at me with a gaze so intense it almost became too much to hold, but as I stared into his eyes I realized he could never want me. I mean look at me I'm pale and scarred and he's perfect with olive skin and broad shoulders he could have any guy he wanted and that would never be me.

"Um do you have something for me to sleep in? I-UH left my stuff at home" I asked, regretting storming out the house so fast because I never even had time to get the stuff for my night time skin routine.

"yea sure" Blaine said breaking away from the intense gaze he held over me; to get some sweats and a t-shirt. The t-shirt hung off my shoulders a little because he was a bigger build than me and the sweat pants were a little tight and came a little high around my ankles but still comfortable and otherwise fine. "Thanks" I murmured while taking a seat on his bed. Blaine came out of the bathroom in sweat pants and no top; revealing his muscular form to me. I blushed for like the billionth time today and lay down in his bed. 

He lay next to me and I tensed up, I've never shared a bed with a boy before well at least not since after puberty and I definitely haven't shared a bed with a boy I had a crush on before. 

Blaine spoke first "Kurt" he said "Can you tell me what happened?" I told him the story about how everyone was babysitting me and how they still didn't trust me and finished with how I flipped about Carole not being my mom "I don't know how it got like this" I finished. "It's like he has a whole new family and I'm not a part of it"

"Kurt, have you ever though maybe your dad and everyone are watching you because they care?" Blaine inquired. I thought for a second that maybe he could be right but it just didn't sit well with me; if he cared surely he could learn to trust me again, instead he just wants to control me. "I guess you could be right but he replaced me and my mom, maybe I'm a reminder of all that he lost and he doesn't want it around his new family."

There was a few minutes of silence not uncomfortable, more like contented silence, before someone spoke again. This time I was the one to speak first "Blaine where are your parents?" I asked "I told you they travel a lot I basically live alone" he replied. It broke my heart here I am burdening him with all my problems and he's here fending for himself. "Don't you get lonely here in this big house all by yourself?" I wondered hoping I wasn't over stepping my bounds.

"I used to but now I'm kind of used to it. Hell I think I might actually prefer it and well I'm not alone right now am I? Because I'm here with you" Blaine turned to face me as he said that last part and I turned towards him. We lay there just looking at each other for an hour, not talking or dancing around uncomfortable subjects, just staring at each other and being together; eventually that's how we fell asleep.