Kaia Black

34

"When do you expect to have repaired the cabinet?" Dumbledore asked as he paced around the room. 

"Possibly at the end of the school year," I swallowed "so in a month or two."

"In June?" Snape asked. 

"Possibly, yes."

Dumbledore stared down at his hand, signs of the curse spreading through it. I could feel the sad vibe through the entire room. I couldn't imagine what he must be feeling like. Yes, he was old but getting killed isn't exactly a nice way to go. 

"Great work, Kaia." Dumbledore said before walking away, I figured he needed some alone time to process the news. 

"How is Harry?" I asked Snape as I stood from the chair. 

Snape raised his eyebrows "He's fine, have you spoken to him at all?" 

I shook my head "Not since my father- does he know about me having joined Voldemort?" 

"Yes." 

I nodded. Just like everyone else Harry probably thought of me as a monster. That was ok, they were probably right.

After the small conversation with Dumbledore and Snape I decided it was time for me to head home, wherever that was. At first I planned on going to sleep early but then a sudden thought popped in my head. Buckbeak.

Without a second thought I apparated to Kielder forest. Even though it was nighttime already I really wanted to see Buckbeak. A creature that could maybe fill the emptiness for a while. 

"Lumos!" 

A small light appeared. I walked through the dark forest not knowing exactly where Buckbeak was hiding. My legs were starting to get tired. Other than that I was slightly shaking due to the cold weather. 

Far ahead of me was a small wooden cabin with a shed next to it. There were lights lit in the cabin. I figured it must've been that Scamander guy's house. 

I slowly approached the cabin when I heard a sudden thud coming from the shed. I opened the door to the shed causing a creaking sound. I pointed my wand up and sighed in relieve to see the grey hippogriff laying on the ground. He lifted his head up to look at me, his eyes looking straight into mine. He gave me a look that was almost as if he was trying to comfort me, like he could feel my pain. 

I kneeled down next to him. His warmth was radiating to me. I started petting him and he let me. His feathers were soft and warm. I rested my head against his neck and wrapped my arms around him. Surprisingly he rested his head on mine. 

The thought of Buckbeak made me think of dad straight away. How much I missed him. My heart broke once again thinking how I'd never see him nor my mother even again. They were forever gone. 

Tears fell onto the feathers of Buckbeak. It felt good to let the tears go, it felt good to show any emotion. Being a death eater meant being emotionless most of the time, it sucked the little life out of me that was left. 

The tears were streaming from my eyes uncontrollably. I could hear my breathing was heavily and my heart was pounding like crazy. 

"Kaia?"

I looked up while wiping the tears off my cheeks. Julio was standing in the doorway carrying a lantern. Obviously he was surprised to see me. 

I stood up looking to my feet to hide the fact that I was crying. But him knowing that was inevitable. 

"I'm sorry," I bit the inside of my cheek "I shouldn't have come here without-"

"No, it's alright. I just didn't expect to see you here." 

"Let me guess, you were told about me joining Voldemort."

"Yes, but I-"

"It's ok, I understand you wouldn't want someone like me around. I'll leave-" I was about to leave when he put a hand on my shoulder. 

"Stay." I turned around to face him "Why don't you come in the house with me for a while?" 

━━━━━━━━━━━

I held a warm cup of tea in my hands, something I hadn't had in a very long time. Steam was swirling into my face. 

Julio lit the fireplace. I couldn't help but wonder what a handsome young man like him was doing alone in a place like this. 

I sipped from my tea as I snuggled back into the couch. 

"Kaia," Julio sat besides me on the couch "first I'd like to say how sorry I am about your father. He was one of the kindest persons I knew." 

I smiled at him as a thank you and continued sipping from my tea. 

"How are you?" he asked, a question I didn't know how to answer. I question I feared to hear. I almost choked on the warm tea sliding down my throat. 

"Honestly," I sighed "I don't know how to answer that."

"Right," he nodded "stupid question." 

I shook my head "It's not. You probably have so many questions, why did I come here, what the hell am I doing in my life, why did I become a death eater, am I crazy? Probably. Like why did I become a follower of the world's most evil wizard or should I say monster?" I took a deep breath after my rambling. I put the cup of tea down on the coffee table and stood from the couch. 

"I've become a monster, Julio. But the saddest part is I can't blame anyone but myself-" a fresh tear was falling down my cheek, admitting it was hard but it was the truth. Right?

"You're not a monster." 

Julio wrapped his arms around me. I buried my face into his chest just letting the tears come out of my eyes. He rubbed his hand on my back in a repetitive circling motion.

"I hate them- all of them. They killed my father-" I cried.

"You didn't really join them because you support Voldemort, did you?" 

I shook my head even though I shouldn't have, this brought him in danger but I had to tell someone other than Dumbledore and Snape. I had to get it off my chest. 

"You can't tell anyone. It's not safe to know this." 

He signed me to sit on the couch so I did. 

"I won't. But Kaia why did you join them?"

"I'm undercover, a spy. Nobody but Dumbledore knows. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told you. I don't want you to be in danger as well." 

"You let everyone hate you just to protect them?" 

"I'd rather have them hate me than having them in danger because of me." 

Julio was about to say something when he opened his mouth. 

"I'm going to kill them, you know. That filthy Bellatrix Lestrange and those othe-"

"As much as I'd like seeing them dead, it won't bring your father back. Revenge doesn't heal." 

Julio held his hand on my cheek gently wiping the tears away with his thumb. 

"You don't deserve any of this, Kaia. You shouldn't have to be all alone in this, you shouldn't bring yourself in danger like that." 

I knew he had a point. His company was nice, telling someone the truth felt for once felt nice too. The weight on my shoulder was lifted a little. 

After that we talked for hours, I don't even remember for how long because next thing I knew I woke up laying on the couch in Julio's arms.