WILD (✓)

~ eight ~

Deep breaths, I remind myself, sitting at an empty desk in the large lecture hall. Just two more hours and I'll be done with Biochemistry forever. I smile at the thought but the nausea rises in my stomach and the grin fades. No matter how badly I do, I tell myself, I will still never have to see these Biochem notes ever again. I curse myself for wasting so much time last night texting CJ - it was enjoyable at the moment but now look where I am, feeling under prepared and anxious.

The good thing is that I have a three hour break between Biochemistry and my Physics 2 final. I'll use that time to study more, I promise myself.

"All right everyone. Couple things before we begin," the proctor holds a thick stack of printer paper, and my stomach flips at the sight of our exam. "These," she raises the stack. "Are you exams. All answers must be recorded in the space provided in the blue answer books," she puts her hand on a different stack still on the desk. "Or they will not be counted towards your grade. Scrap paper is at the front, you may use your calculators. You have two hours, I'll keep the time on the board here. Good luck," she smiles grimly. My eyes never leave her as she walks up and down the rows, placing a stack of exams at the end of each table. I take one and pass the rest down, reminding myself to keep breathing.

As soon as she hands us our blue books, I open my exam. An entire list of true or false statements assaults my eyes, and I push through the shakiness of my hands to try and fill them in. I rack my brain for anything I can remember about thermodynamics, trying to remain calm. I continue this way throughout the exam, flipping the pages with shaky fingers and listening to my own heart pounding in my ears.

I take a breath, flexing my sore hands. Two essays down, and I have another forty-five minutes to go. I eye the multiple choice, knowing they're going to give me trouble. Professor M. is notorious for giving killer multiple choice portions. I scan the two pages worth, noticing how each question has six possible choices for the answer, rather than the traditional four. As I begin reading through the section on proteins, I quickly realize that to make it even more challenging, each possible answer is only a tiny bit different than the other answers. I didn't study well enough for this, I realize. I take a moment to refocus, staring blankly at the board in front of me. The proctor meets my eye and I swear I almost see a sympathetic smile. I push on the remaining forty minutes of the final, feeling both relieved and horrified once I pass it in.

I check my phone as I leave the exam hall, seeing texts from Lucas, CJ, Mom and Hannah.

Lucas: I know you were busy studying last night - good luck today, you're going to crush it!

I feel a pang of guilt knowing I ignored Lucas yesterday. Talking to him is so easy, especially about school. He just understands all the pressure I'm under. I type out a reply, explaining how difficult Biochem was.

CJ: good luck, catch you after Physics

I smile to myself, thankful that we made plans for after my finals. He's just helping me pack up some things for the Christmas holiday, but even just seeing him might lift my mood.

Mom: Good luck today baby!! Make me proud (you always do!!!) love you!!

I roll my eyes at her excessive use of exclamation points but text her back without telling her how tough Biochem actually was. Or how I don't feel much better about this next exam.

Last is Hannah's text.

Hannah: Good luck today girly! Rooting for you

A series of hearts fill the screen. I bite my lip, still irritated at her and Cassandra. Still, I answer her kindly, as if I'm not bothered at all.

I find a seat on a big leather sofa, spreading my physics things out before me, while ordering a large iced coffee from my phone. Time to get to work.