WILD (✓)

~ twenty-five ~

I toss and turn in my thick comforter and stare up at the dingy cinderblock ceiling of my dorm room. Hannah snores softly on the bed across from mine, and I fight the urge to wake her up and tell her everything that happened. Angry or not, she's my best friend and right now, I just need someone to talk to.

The ride back to school was awful - Mom and I mostly sat in silence, my shame and her disappointment taking up too much space in her small car. I close my eyes, the scene playing over and over in my mind.

Finally after an hour or so of driving, Mom looked at me, a scowl on her face. "You're close to finals, so I'm bringing you back. As soon as your exams are over, you're home and you're grounded." Her jaw clenched and unclenched before she delivered the final blow. "And you're never to see that boy again, do you hear me?"

My breathing caught like a lump in my throat. "Mom, I'm not a child," I argued but she interrupted me, her temper finally boiling over.

"You're right, Kat! You're not a child, you're an adult who just got arrested! Do you understand the consequences of your actions at all? You could've thrown away your whole future for some boy," my jaw quivered as tears pricked my eyes. I wanted to argue but she was right. The reality of the situation set in and my stomach dropped.

"Could've?" I asked weakly, facing out my window.

"Yes." Mom composed herself. "I took care of it. Because you don't have a record, this won't be put on your file. That boy, however." She trailed off, grumbling to herself but I couldn't make out the rest. Instantly, my curiosity was piqued. What about CJ? Did he have a record? Is that why we weren't even given a warning?

Against my better judgement, I whispered. "His name is CJ."

"What?" Mom snapped, disbelief coloring her tone. I couldn't blame her - the words sounded stupid, even to me.

"His name is CJ." I repeated more loudly and more confidently. "And I really care about him."

Coming to a red light at about the halfway point from school, Mom turned to me. "And you think he cares about you, Kat? Would someone who cares about you knowingly break the law and get you into trouble? Knowing the future you see for yourself?" As she pressed her foot to the gas again, she continued, something like sadness coloring her voice. "I'll answer that for you: no, he doesn't care. And it doesn't matter anyways, because you aren't seeing him again."

I wiped at my cheeks, feeling like a complete idiot as her words sunk in. CJ knew I didn't like trespassing, but somehow he was always able to persuade me. Shaking my head, I scolded myself internally. CJ's persuasion aside, I made my own decisions, and now I have to face them.

I roll onto my side, burrowing deeper into my blankets as I do. Mind going a mile a minute, I don't even realize that I didn't come clean about dropping pre-med, either.

***

I cross the quad, grass damp with morning dew, and make my way to the Science Center. CJ never called and no matter what way I spin it, that doesn't seem like a good thing. Pushing away any negative thoughts, I enter the large Science complex and inhale the scent of brewed coffee and freshly made pastry.

I take my place in line, pretending not to scan the entire building for dark shaggy hair or a one dimpled smile. Coming up empty anyways, I glumly hand over some cash for my iced coffee, extra shot of espresso. I got no sleep last night, so if I have any chance at finishing my paper, I'll need all the caffeine I can get.

Dropping my backpack into the seat beside mine, I plop into a comfortable arm chair and take out my laptop. After about a half hour of staring blankly at my screen, the cursor blinking at me mockingly, I let out a deep sigh and tilt my head back against the chair, hugging my laptop to my chest.