WILD (✓)

~ thirty-two ~

— CJ —

The rain falls in a soft mist, enough to soak you through if you're in it too long, but I don't mind. The air is warm and the rain almost feels nice against my skin, dampening the seat of my jeans as I sit on the ground. I'll have to change before my dinner with Kat this evening but this is important, so it's worth it.

"I don't normally do this kind of stuff," I mumble truthfully, running my hands through the dewy grass and pulling at the random blades that get caught in my fingers. "My own brother passed away a few years ago. His name is Logan. I don't really feel like he's there when I visit his grave," I admit sheepishly, eyes focused on the words carved into the headstone.

This is the second time I've been in this cemetery. The first was when Kat first took me to meet her dad. This is the second. Staring at the words engraved to honor her father, I push through the awkwardness of talking to someone that can not talk back.

"Kat feels you here though, and that's what really matters." I glance around at the eerily empty cemetery around me and continue, thinking of her dark curls and pretty brown eyes. "Kat's so amazing - she's smart as hell, sweet, beautiful and sexy," I bite my tongue, feeling an unfamiliar heat in my cheeks. "Oops, I'm sorry. She's gorgeous is what I meant to say,"

Even fathers that have died probably don't want to hear about their daughters sex lives.

I inhale the fresh air, smelling the way it does only when rain hits warm pavement, and sigh. "Me? Well. I'm in college now, so that's good. I'm kind of old to be a freshman, but better late than never, right? Kat helped me a lot, getting me back on track, you know."

I feel my brows come together as I stare at the stone, shining brightly from the rain, before glancing up at the sky, mist falling into my eyes. "If you can hear me, then I want you to know how much I love her. She says I make her wild, but the truth is, she keeps me safe. When I drift too far from shore, she's the one who reels me back in. She's like coming home from a long trip and really, I've never felt that way before."

Warmth fills my heart at the thought of coming home to her every night, after a long day at work, and relaxing into her arms the way I do whenever she holds me. Thoughts of adventures together ending with a peaceful night on our front porch, of a lifetime of quieting her fears and anxieties, while encouraging her to be bold, ping around in my brain while I try to find the right words.

"I know you can't really give me your blessing, but I just wanted you to be the first to know." I hesitate, sliding the velvet black box from my jeans pocket and turning it over in my fingers. "I'm going to ask Kat to marry me."

***

"Dinner was tasty," Kat grins, rubbing her stomach to indicate that she's full. "Did you enjoy it?"

"Delicious," I agree, thumping my fingers against my thigh.

Eyeing my jittery hand, Kat asks "CJ, what's wrong with you tonight? You're so jumpy," She tugs at my hand from the passenger seat. It's not the first time she's said something about my nerves and I press my foot to the gas.

"I'm not jumpy," I spare a glance her way before resuming focus on the road. She looks so beautiful tonight - I told her we'd go somewhere nice to celebrate her upcoming graduation. Her dark hair is pulled back from her face, showcasing dark eyes that always reveal what she's thinking, and a pretty red pout. In a tight black dress with thin straps, her body is doing things to me. Man, I can't wait to get home.