Stacey Santiago
Dahan dahan kong iminulat ang mga mata ko at tumumbad sakin ang puting ceiling ng clinic. Lumingon ako sa paligid at wala akong nakitang bantay.
Napatingin ako sa suot ko. Suot ko pa rin ang jersey, at bumalik sa akin ang alala ng mga nangyari. Napapikit ako ng mariin.
I'm doomed. My highschool life is over.
Sinampal sampal ko ang sarili ko dahil sa kahihiyan. Knowing that Coen was right behind me, I feel so humiliated. I bet everybody's talking about it right now.
"Bakit niyo pa sinali? Hindi naman marunong!"
"Kael, calm down. Why are you so fired up about this?"
Napaitlag ako dahil sa narinig kong pangalan. Is that Coen? Who is he talking to? Is he referring to me?
Tumayo ako mula sa kama at dahan dahang lumapit sa ingay na naririnig. Sumilip ako mula sa pinto ng clinic. I saw three people facing each other. I was sure he was with the vice president, and..
"S-sorry. She said.. she needed the grades,"
Coleen? Why is she talking to him? And why does she looks frightened? Like a cat being groaned by a lion, Coleen's hands were shaking.
Napatingin ako sa isa pang babae. Via. She sighed and rolled her eyes. She's forcing Coen to let this go, but he won't move.
"It messed up the team, and she was hurt, Via. How could I let this go?"
I didn't know if he was concerned about the team or about me, it was confusing. But I was certain that, he is mad. I think, this has to do with his experience. He knows what I'm feeling right now. He knows that I am being eaten up by embarrassment. The same thing he felt that time.
"So? They won, Kael. And the nurse said she's completely fine!" pag kumbinsi ni Via dito. Hindi ko na itinuloy ang pakikinig sakanila at sinara ang pinto. Bumalik ako sa pagkakahiga.
I think it's better to skip and stay here for the day. I don't know how to face the team, Coleen, Eliezer, and.. maybe him too.
I messed things up. And now he's mad. He's mad at me, or of what happened. Tinakpan ko ang sarili ko ng kumot. I shook my head. I shouldn't have engaged in this activity in the first place. I was greedy. Greedy for the grades. Sana pinalampas ko nalang. Pwede naman akong bumawi.
I heard the door opened. Hindi ako gumalaw. I thought it was Coleen. I pretended to be asleep for a while. But then, it started talking.
"You're awake." it wasn't a question. He knew I was faking it, he knew I was awake. Hindi pa din ako gumalaw. I can't face anybody right now. I'm covered with shame, embarrassment. I can't face anybody, lalo na ikaw.
Coen.
"You shouldn't have joined the game if you didn't know how to play in the first place,"
I know. I'm already regretting it. I want to speak, to explain my side. But I don't have the courage to. All I can do now is to hide.
"I'm sorry,"
Pumikit ako nang mariin. No, don't take the blame all to yourself. This is my fault!
"This was my idea. To have everybody enjoy this day, not knowing some may get injured. I apologize—"
"Stop. Wala kang kasalanan, this is all my fault!—"
Sabi nga nila. Think before you act. A simple rule, but I can't seem to follow it right now. Hearing him apologizing for something he didn't do, it makes me uncomfortable. Why apologize, Coen? When my stubborn, greedy ass is completely at fault?
And now I regret talking back. Nang makita ko siya sa harap ko, na-blangko ang utak ko. Shit, I like the president so much that my mind just went blank just by seeing him.
Tumikhim ako. "I mean— This is all my fault. My greediness lead me to this accident,"
Walang nagsalita sa aming dalawa. I can't look at him straight, knowing that he's reading my expression right now. Feeling ko ay matutunaw ako kapag tinitigan ko siya pabalik. My heart is fragile, you know.
"T-there's no need for you to take the blame.. Kaya— wag kayong mag alala." nauutal at halos pabulong na ang mga salitang lumalabas sa bibig ko. I need Coleen right now, I can't stay in this room with him alone, I can't take it, my heart can't. Pakiramdam ko naririnig niya na ang bawat tibok ng puso ko dahil sa katahimikan.
I slowly looked at him. He looks like he wanted to say something. But he remained silent. Tumikhim siya at umayos ng pagkakatayo.
"I know how you feel. Shame, embarrassment, disappoinment. Don't let it eat you."
He knows how I feel. Do you know how nervous I am right now, Coen? Do you know how it makes me sad that you're disappointed in yourself, despite the effort you did three years ago?
"I went through a dark phase, too."
I'm confused. Why is he telling me such words? Para i-cheer up ako? It's not helping.
"But it's okay, you know. A certain darkness is needed to let the stars shine. It's cliché but, that's what I believe."
Umiling ako at ngumiti. Ineed. You are shining right before my eyes now, Coen. I wanted to tell you how I envy you for your braveness. But I'm bot in the position to do so.
"I-it's not cliché at all. It's kinda.. motivating." I laughed nervously. He scoffed.
Sana.. maging close pa tayo. Sana maulit pa 'tong ganitong pagkakataon. Kailan kaya ulit? Kailan kaya ulit ako makakalapit ng ganito sa'yo?
"Kael, let's go!"
Pumasok si Via sa kwarto. Nagpaalam sa akin si Coen. Now everything reminds me that we're in different worlds where I don't belong.
"And you." Via pointed on me.
"Stop putting yourself in danger, will you? I don't like wasting Coen's time on these things."
I was left in shock by the last words the vice president said. It seems like, she wanted me out of their sight.
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BINABASA MO ANG
The Gap Between Us (SSG SERIES #1)
Novela JuvenilStacey Santiago, a normal highschool student, gained interest in the student council's president, Coen Mikael Reyes. Knowing her own place, she could only look at him from afar. But when she realized nothing will change, she chose to make a move on...