The Gap Between Us (SSG SERIES #1)

Chapter 29: Trouble

Stacey's

"Umuulan?"

Napatingin ako sa bintana ng class room nang sabihin iyon ni Coleen. It's raining. Buti nalang at may dala akong payong.

Naalala ko tuloy noong kinailangan naming tumakbo ni Coen.. Ah. Here I go again, remembering things. Why can't I just forget you?

I tried distracting myself from the thought of you. I started joining PE class, I even restraint myself to look for you everywhere I go. But it's pointless. In the end of the day, ikaw pa din ang iniisip ko.

I blame myself all the time. If I've confessed my feelings that day, ano kayang nangyayari ngayon? Am I happy? Am I rejected?

If only I did..

"Are you listening, Stacey?" tanong sa akin ni Coleen kaya naman napa-tingin ako sakanilang dalawa ni Eliezer. I was too distracted by my thoughts that I didn't even knew they were here.

"Ano ulit 'yun?" I asked. Umirap siya.

"Sabi ko, prez won't be here for a week." sabi ni Eliezer.

I tilted my head. "Bakit?"

A playful smile showed up when I asked about it. Pinipigilan ko din kasi ang sarili kong mag react sa mga ganitong bagay. Pero at this point, sumusuko na ako. I can't uncrush Coen afterall.

"Nag sisimula na siyang mag asikaso para sa college. Since, you know. He's studying abroad."

A part of my chest hurt when he mentioned it. Dapat ay masaya ako para sakaniya, hindi ba? He's slowly getting close to his dreams, and a better future. It's for the best. Pero syempre, sa tuwing iisipin ko na baka hindi na kami mag kita pa ay nasasaktan ako. They say, we're just teenagers, we'll encounter better people as we get old.

But, Coen? With another girl?

Napapikit ako ng mariin at napa buntong hininga. I shouldn't be thinking of this. Think positive, Stacey!

"When will you speak up?"

Nanlamig ang kamay ko. I know exactly what Coleen is talking about.

"Coleen.." pag awat ni Eliezer.

"What? Until when are you going to hide this? Time flies like the wind, Stacey. Hindi mo namamalayan, naka-alis na pala siya."

Coleen's words hit me like a rock. Alam ko 'yun. I really wanted to tell them, but I'm afraid of the expressions they'd make.

Will they feel mad? Annoyed that I have lost my chance?

But they're my friends.. What will it be, I wonder?

"I'll.. tell you. Now—"

The school bell rang and being the reason why my speech was cut.

"Shoot. Save the talk for later, may gagawin pa kami sa office!" sabi ni Eliezer at tumakbo papalabas ng room. Wrong timing nga naman.

I, then looked at Coleen and she was waiting for me to say something. I was about to open my mouth when this guy, named Win suddenly walked to her.

"I'm borrowing this," sabi nito at hinila si Coleen. Hindi pa nga ako nakaka-react ay nawala na silang dalawa sa paningin ko.

I guess it's lunch with myself today.

Pag pasok ko sa cafeteria ay naramdaman ko agad ang kakaibang tension sa loob nito. Was the atmosphere here always this heavy? O baka dahil wala akong kasama ay naa-anxious ako?

It was almost like.. they're looking at me.

Maybe I'm just nervous. Nag pa-tuloy ako sa pag lalakad. Nakita ko ang table kung saan nakaupo ang grupo nila Claire. She was glaring at me.. for sure. I didn't know why, pero nang dumaan ako sa harap ng table nila ay nag salita ito.

"Kapit SSG."

I paused. I instantly knew. Napatingin ako sa grupo nila. They were laughing and constantly looking at me. I felt irritated.

"She's glaring back, Claire." sabi ng isang kasama nila. Tumayo si Claire at lumapit. The attention was on us. The Ms. Campus is picking up a fight with a mere person, ofcourse it would easily get attention.

"What can you do? Your saviour, or should I say, saviours, aren't here."

The next thing I knew was, hinila niya ako papunta sa CR na malapit sa cafeteria. Her underlings locked the door. Claire pulled my hair, making me groan in pain.

"Matapos akong dedmahin ni Coen dahil sa'yo, you think you can get away that easily?"

Binitawan niya ang buhok ko at tinulak ako sa isang cubicle. Napapikit ako sa sakit ng pag tama ng likod ko sa pinto ng cubicle. Hinawi ko ang kamay ng isa niyang kasama na pipigilan sana ako sa pag kilos.

"Nababaliw ka na ba?! Anong ginagawa mo?!" pasigaw kong tanong dito. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit galit na galit siya. Damn. This girl's plasticity is above barbie.

"Oh, she talks back." sabi ng isa niyang kasama at mas hinigpitan ang pag hawak sakin. I can feel her nails going through my skin. At dahil inaagaw ko ang braso ko sakanila ay nagiging kalmot ito.

"Anong ginagawa ko? Making you pay, obviously."

Pay for what? Pay for liking someone I shouldn't have? Wait, no. There are no limits to liking someone. It's just that, people like you exist!

Laking pasalamat ko nalang nang may kumatok sa pinto at mukhang isa 'yong faculty staff.

"Bawal i-lock 'to, paki-buksan nalang!"

Binitawan nila ako at agad akong lumayo sakanila. There were three of them. I can't handle them all at once, thank God.

"You won't get away next time."

May next time pa?!

Pag ka-labas na pagka-labas nila ay napa-sandal ako sa pader at napapikit. The next thing I knew was, there were tears falling out. I didn't bother to wipe them, it won't stop flowing anyway.

Bakit kaya, parang ang hirap mong gustuhin, Coen? Bakit parang imbis na mapalapit ka sa akin, ay napapalayo ka lalo? This feeling brought nothing but pain.

Pain?

Suddenly, the memories of us started to flashed on my mind. From the beginning, where he was cold, and started to gain interest in me, those awkward moments I treasure the most, the times where you've shown me unexpected things, it made me happy.

I guess it wasn't all painful memories.

It made me cry twice as hard. Nag ring na ang bell pero hindi ako nag abalang lumabas doon.

Finally, these tears I've been holding back ever since that day, finally got out. Pinipigilan ko ang bawat pag hikbi na lumalabas sa bibig ko. I was sobbing hard while I was covering my mouth, and all I could think of was..

I wish I can tell you right now.

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