Excess EXes

10

"aalis ka?" Anikka asked brent who was putting his pants on, brent nodded. Tumingin si anikka sa orasan, it was 2:00 am.

"Bakit?" Anikka asked, sitting up, ngumiti si brent, grabbing his wallet and a pair of white shoes.

"Ricci can't go eh, gusto raw nila ng apple." Brent explained, anikka sighed and nodded, pero parang hindi napansin si brent ang pagkadismaya niya.

"Bye love, uwi rin ako agad." Pagpapaalam ni brent, he kissed her forehead before walking towards the door.

An hour of tossing and turning, pero hindi pa rin makatulog si anikka, brent didn't even text her or called her. Anikka sighed, standing up to get a jacket and put on some shoes, she needed to escape this place, she needed some fresh air. She left a note for brent to read.

She bought two beers and her dad's favorite snack. Before she sat down sa grass, she smiled.

"Hi papa, I miss you so much." Anikka started, she opened the beers, one for her and one for her dad.

"Sorry I was busy papa, A lot of things going inside my mind eh." Anikka said, smiling sadly as she sipped her beer. She opened the chips her dad used to eat with his beer.

"Brent and I are okay na papa, I know you would've loved that" anikka traced her father's name. "But we can't seem to meet papa, why do I feel like our timing is wrong again?" Tears fell down her cheeks and she used her jacket to wipe them.

"Papa, I need you here, it hurts so much papa, why do I feel like i'm losing brent? Why do I feel like i'm losing the game, papa, bakit talo na naman ako?"
Anikka buried her face in her arms, crying.

"I knew i'd find you here." Anikka raised her head to see juan, anikka smiled.

"Ricci texted me." Juan sat down beside anikka.

"Bakit daw?" Anikka asked, juan smiled.

"Ricci can't go to bets eh, so brent had to diba?" Juan asked, anikka nodded and drank from her beer.

"I am not selfish." Anikka said looking at her father's grave. Juan nodded and got himself a beer. Dala dala niya ito, anikka smiled and offered him chips.

"pero pwede bang ako muna? kung hindi basketball kalaban ko, magiging anak naman niya" anikka wiped a few tears that fell. "Parang sa basketball may chance pa ako manalo, pero what if anak ni brent yung baby ni bets? Paano ako juan? Saan ako? Anong lugar ko?"

"Sabi ni papa, we should always try to be giving, we should always be kind, we should always remember na giving is always better than receiving" anikka started, "but I already gave brent to basketball, I already gave him to his dream, I already gave him the time he needed, pwede bang ako naman? Pwede ko ba siya ipagdamot kay bets? Pwede ko ba siya ipagdamot sa bata?"

Juan didn't answer, he let anikka speak.

"Pero hindi mo kaya yun, you're a giver anikka, giving comes natural to you, paano kung si brent yung tatay at hindi si ricci?" Juan asked, anikka smiled bitterly.

"Then I have to give up brent again." Anikka said, looking at her father's grave, she knew that having a father figure has a large effect on her upbringing.

"Pwede naman sila mag co-parent ah." Juan said, anikka smiled.

"Brent badly wants to have children of his own, I can't give that juan, not anymore."

"I'm sorry about that anikka." Juan said, kasama ni anikka si juan when she tried to get treatments for her womb cancer but to no avail, she neded to have her uterus removed.

"I just want to be at the other end juan, pwede bang ako naman yung makatanggap? Kasi nakakapagod rin palang magbigay, pagod na pagod na ako."