Sands of Time (Hellsing•AU)

Museum Guide Under Protest (15)

•Crude humor
•mention male masterbation

Lilly's alarm goes off at 6.a.m, on her phone. She slowly untangles herself, from the huge black dog, who is sprawled completely over her.

"Fae, as always, forget humans break easily, guess good thing I don't break as easily," she muttered to herself.

She was still getting up, her phone on the counter, when the song "Promontory" started to play.

"Ah shit what now!"Lilly whines and then hears that sound that her call has gone to voicemail. She opens her voicemail to John, her friend at the museum, talking a mile a minute about some Romanian Count here and wishes to get a tour.

"Depending on how well the personal tour goes, he may even donate a large sum of money, to a section of the museum he enjoys the most. The Count will be at the museum for the tour at 8 a.m. sharp since we don't open till 10 a.m. Please, please don't be late! Oh one other thing, dress nice, attractive and by all means be polite! I gotta run and goodbye!"

Lilly sighed and said to herself, " It's modern times, it's perfectly fine for women to have a backbone and a snarky tone of voice!"

At this point, a rather large beast of a dog, sneezes next to Lilly then sticks his nose in a very inappropriate place, her crotch. "Oh by the gods! How did I manage to forget about you?"

Moddey Dhoo sneezes again, as if on cue, to say 'Yes woman , how could you possibly forget about me?'

Lilly jumps to start getting ready, what to wear?

She then realizes she needs to tell David, what has come up and she is needed to be at the museum, before eight. Not thinking, Lilly flings the door open to David's room, only to see David masturbating.

"Lillia Steiger!" David yells but more in humor that anger. "Can't a man have some privacy to jack off?"

"Uh, ya..." was the embarrassed woman's comment. She could feel a blush coming on.

"Well, if you feel sorry for interrupting perhaps you could take care of it, like you used to. I seem to remember you were always the best," as David gives her a sly smile.

Lilly for a minute looked quite confused, yesterday won't talk to me and today, oh love can you give me head? She shook her head and said, "Man I don't have time for that!"

(Author's note: if you are a Monty Python fan, check out Yellow Beard, a lot of the cast is from flying circus, cheech and chong: Graham Chapman tells Madelyn Kahn, Woman I don't have time for that!)

As Lilly rushes out the door yelling, about having to be at the museum in a half hour and some Romanian Count to impress, a large black dog enters. David stops doing what he is doing and looks over to see a very large, very scary black dog, staring back at him. The large creature growls, baring teeth and then a big "woof" leaves the dog's mouth.

David for a moment, actually thought the dog was threatening him. "Lilly! Where did this horse of dog come from?"

"Oh, it's Moddey Dhoo! I thought it was an omen dog or fae, just get some of you aged whiskey out and see if it wants some, Glenlivich."

"What the hell are you talking about? You want me to poison the dog with expensive alcohol?" replied David in a startled voice.

"It's not a dog, it's a faery in a dog form! They love sweets, good food, alcohol...good alcohol!"

Lilly then rushed by, putting brown boots that went with a green dress, that had a slim fit style to it. She had a shawl jacket to put over the dress.

David couldn't resist yelling "Remember about headlights Lilly! Bloody hell! Where has the dog, faery dog, omen thing gone? It's too quiet.

"Come away, O'Human child!
To waters and the wild,
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand"
~ William Butler Yeats-Stolen Child