The Unpredictability of You and Me

thirteen - nightmares

Later that night, I'm laying in bed, not knowing what to do. Do I tell Adrian that I'm maybe catching feelings for him? Or do I just keep quiet and have things the same way that they are?

If I tell him, there's a million things I could mess up. My parents definitely will not approve of me dating a boy who lives in the room next to mine, he could not feel the same way, he probably doesn't want to get into a relationship like Asia said-

I stop myself mid-thought. Why hadn't I thought of this before?

I grab my phone and pull up Asia's number that she gave me the day Adrian took me to his friend's house. I send a text.

you awake?

I wait a minute before a text shoots back.

yeah what's up

I type back,

can you call me rq? i wanna ask you smth

A phone call comes in quickly. I answer it right away.

"Hi," I say.

"Hey," Asia says on the other line. "So what's going on?"

I bite my lip. "I need your advice on something. It's about Adrian."

"Is he okay?" Her voice sounds worried.

"I'm not sure," I admit. "Carter said he's depressed again." I'm not sure what again is supposed to be, and I don't tell her what he told me about my mom diagnosing him with bipolar disorder. It seems too personal and it feels like something he should tell her by himself, if he hasn't already.

"Oh no." There's a heavy sigh. "I'm the one who told him to move. I thought it would be good for him to get away from here for a while."

"He doesn't like it here. He never leaves his room or talks to anyone. He barely even eats." I pause. "Has he ever . . . tried to hurt himself?"

Now, it's Asia's turn to pause. "I wouldn't know. We don't talk about that stuff. He used to be a careless asshole and would do the stupidest things without thinking that could have killed him, but I don't think he ever intentionally tried to."

I let out a breath of relief. "Oh. Good. Also, there's something else I wanted to tell you."

"Hm?"

"We kissed."

There's a loud gasp. "You and Adrian?"

Oh god. Maybe she has feelings for him. She sounds surprised. "Yeah."

"Congrats, girl," she exclaims.

Her voice sounds so excited. I furrow my eyebrows. "You're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad? I already told you, Adrian and I hooked up a few times. It was nothing serious."

"Oh." If he hooks up with Asia like it's nothing, what if our kiss meant nothing to him? "Didn't you also say he'd never get into a relationship?"

"Well, that's what I thought. But if he kissed you, he probably likes you."

"Or he just wants to fuck." I can tell she's just saying all this to make me feel better.

"Don't think like that!"

I look over at the clock on my bedside table. 1:33 AM. "It's already 1:30. Sorry for keeping you up so late."