*Tom's p.o.v*
I was gutted. I was really looking forward to being a dad and it's been taken away just like that. When Ellie said those words it broke my heart. Kelsey and I had lost our baby.
Kelsey and I were now at home, sat on the sofa.
'I'm so sorry Tom.' Kelsey apologised.
'Hey none of this is your fault, maybe it just wasn't the right time, but it will be okay we can always try again Kels, just cause we lost one baby, doesn't have to stop us from having a family.' I said pulling her into a hug.
'Yeah it will be hard for a while but it will be alright, we have each other we can get through this.' I continued.
Kels nodded against my chest.
'I love you Tom.' She mentioned looking up at me.
'I love you too Kelsey.' I replied kissing her forehead.
I really didn't want to leave Kelsey today but I had to. It was the last day of recording for the album. I had written a song last night, which I wanted to record today.
The other lads obviously got told as there faces all went sympathetic as I came in the room.
It was my turn in the box. I sung with as much emotion as I could, not noticing the tears rolling down my cheeks. [A/N: song on side :)]
Once I finished recording, I felt my mood had changed, I walked out into the room were all the other boys were.
'You know it's going to be alright mate.' Nath's gloucester accent broke the silence.
'It's alright for you to say that, the one with a kid and family.' I spat feeling annoyed.
'If you don't remember I didn't get to meet my daughter till she was three years old and that was out of pure luck.' Nath spoke bluntly.
'Don't you think I blamed myself for not being there, for not finding Ellie. I missed everything Tom, the scans, first kick, birth, naming her, first words, first steps everything, but that didn't stop me from stepping up and being Lillie's dad. I missed everything because Ellie was scared we would hate her for what she had done.' He ranted getting irritated and upset for bringing up things he has never talked about before.
'I know your blaming yourself but you can't, you have to accept it happened and moved the hell on.' He finished before walking out the room.
'Hate to admit it but baby Nath is right.' Max sighed.
Jay and Siva nodded in agreement.
I huffed slumping down into the chair while waiting for the other boys to record their parts.
I walked out to catering and got a simple apple before sitting down.
'Hey Tom, you alright? You've been seeming down today.' Jayne asked taking a seat next to me.
'Kelsey had a miscarriage and it's just getting to me you know? I had a spat with Nath as well.' I sighed rubbing my temples.
'I'm very sorry to hear that, you and Nath will make up though, everything will be fine.' Jayne said patting my back.
After my talk with Jayne I stepped outside, for a fag and to think.
To be honest Nath was right, he had missed everything, most guys would have left it but he didn't he sucked it up and continued to love both Ellie and Lillie with all his heart.
Guess it's time for me to apologise for being an ass. I stepped on the finished cigarette and walked back into the studio.
'Guys where's Nathan?' I asked the other lads who seemed to be chilling.
'Oh he had finished for the day so went home.' Seev informed me.
'Okay thanks and sorry for being snappy.' I apologised walking out the room and set of for Ellie's.
I knocked on the door and waited.
Ellie opened to door.
'Hi Tom.' She smiled letting me in.
I picked up my little sister and spun her around.
'You know I never have and never will hate you El.' I said quietly kissing her head.
'Love you too Tom Tom.' She grinned.
'So what you doing here?' She asked as we walked into the sitting room.
'Is it a crime to want to come to see my sister?' I teased.
'And I wanted to talk to Nathan.' I continued.
'What did you want to talk to me about.' Nathan's hard voice came from the door way.
'Tooommmm!' A little squeal came running in the room interrupting me for replying.
'Hey cheeky, you okay?' I asked hoisting her up onto my lap.
'Yeah I'm good.' She grinned.
'Well I'm going to go talk to daddy, so I'll be back in a minute.' I said passing her over to Ellie.
I got up and followed Nath out the room.
'I'm sorry for being an ass mate, I'm just a bit down.' I admitted.
'It's alright, can't blame ya, I'd be gutted.' Nath smiled apologetically.
We man hugged before going back into the living room.
I spent a bit longer with them before heading back to my house.
Once back I saw Kelsey passed out on the sofa by the looks of it from crying.
I took the picture hanging from her hand.
It was the ultra-scan she had a week before the miscarriage.
I sat on the floor leaning my back against the sofa my hands running through my hair as I cried.
I had lost my child.
