You can't save me, I'm damaged goods.

What's wrong with him?

I thought sorrow was something I was very used too. It felt as if I had already visited every corner of the dark void that all people had to experience in life. No matter how far back I thought I couldn't think of a time where sadness wasn't a constant companion. Therefore I took it for granted that I knew everything about it. But the feeling stabbing my heart at that moment as a stranger. A stranger that I hadn't greeter, or shook hands with. I hadn't even glanced at it once.

The sorrow hit me at full power, and it was like a brand new feeling. A side of my feelings that I had never wanted to encounter, even when I didn't know it existed.

It was a ridiculous reaction of course. Jungkook wasn't mine. He'd never been mine, and he never would be. We had just met each other and, at the times we met, I had been shy and timid, never really sharing my real thoughts.

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Jungkook was perfect. He was handsome, ha had a job, he had a perfect personality. Everything about him screamed perfect. Every time I was around him, I felt myself getting caught up in the details. Everything from the way his lips almost pouted when he talked, to the way he brushed his fingers through his hair when he was nervous and stressed and the way his eyes seemed to sparkle when he was talking about banana milk.

So, it shouldn't surprise me that he had such a beautiful girlfriend. She was indeed very beautiful, but not really my type. You would expect her to kiss five different men in one night as easy as it was for you to breathe.

The way she held Jungkook made me feel a lot of different ways. My eyes brimmed with tears that I would not allow to fall, and my hands clenched trying to suppress the need to push her away. At the same time that I wanted to flee from the room and never look back, I was held back by the need to stay near Jungkook. It was like gravity drew me to him. I had been with him several times before, and yet it had never been like this.

She stood with her hands wrapped around his neck, turning her body around his so that her back was facing us. She kissed his cheek, leaving a faint trail of lipstick. Even in the loving position that they stood, the image seemed wrong. The love was missing. Jungkook stood there, accepting her touch, but it seemed like he endured it more than he enjoyed it. "Hey," he said, not returning her hug, his arms hanging down his sides. Did he look uncomfortable?

After a moment, a moment that was too long in my opinion, she released him and moved to stand at his side. As she did she grabbed his hand, holding it firmly as she gave us an unpleasant smile. For others, it might have looked sweet and polite, but to me, she looked like a witch. Perhaps I was a little biased.

"Guys, I'd like to introduce you to my, um, girlfriend. This is Seok Eul Nyun." he cleared his throat a bit before speaking. The others seemed a bit shocked and surprised, their faces displaying the same emotions. Except for Namjoon and Jin, they weren't surprised, but their expressions were suddenly sad. I couldn't help but wonder why. Wasn't it great that he had a girlfriend?

That was also a problem. GIRLfriend. I hadn't asked if he was gay or straight or everything in between, but it felt as if he had been hinting towards being gay in our prior conversations. Hoping that the dream boy would be gay, was maybe a bit too much to ask. He could, of course, be bisexual, but if I let myself hope, then I would really break.

"It's nice to meet you," said Hobi, after a bit of awkward silence. "Yeah," Taehyung joined in, he always followed Hobi's lead. Earlier I had wondered if he maybe had a crush on him, but I know now that Hobi is just a special friend for him. They had gone through a lot together, and therefore they trusted each other completely. The girl nodded back and said, "you can call me Nyun" with a smile on her face.

I was in a state of shock, so I didn't think about greeting her back. I didn't really think. The world around me blended together and I felt my head starting to swim. Lifting my gaze, to look over at Taehyung, trying to signalize that something was wrong.