Oi Homeschooled - Fred Weasley x reader

*- 34 - Something you wouldn't wish to anyone

YOUR POV

I screamed into my pillow as if that would help. Reality was hitting me and I didn't want it. I didn't want a reality where there was no Cedric. What bad had he ever done to this world? Why did he have to die?

You would think that I would have gotten used to the feeling of people close to me dying, but I hadn't. I don't think you can ever get used to that. It was so unfair. What did I ever do to deserve this? First my mum and now Cedric ... And then I felt guilty again for making this all about me. This wasn't about me and it shouldn't be. I couldn't imagine what his family felt like, or Cho. Cho, she was probably the only person I wanted to see right now. I needed to see her.

I pulled my robes close to me and took my wand. I needed it, just in case. I made my way downstairs and into the crowd. Almost the entire Gryffindor house was gathered in the common room, so I tried pushing through the mass of people as fast as I could.

I hated the stares I got from everyone. It only reminded me of why they were staring, which reminded me of Cedric, which made my heart ache. Everybody just had to mind their own damn business. Tears were blurring my vision, but I just kept on pushing people out of my way until I made it to the door.

I opened the door and walked out of the common room. It was still very warm, even though it was already late.

"Oi, Y/N, wait up", Fred called out for me. He was probably worried and I couldn't blame him, I had ignored him all night, but I needed him to let me be for a while. He couldn't help me this time and I didn't want him to. I stopped and turned around. He walked down the stairs of the Gryffindor Tower and I could see that he didn't know what to do.

"Where are you off to?" he asked awkwardly.

"I'm going to talk to Cho", I said and put my wand in the pocket of my robe.

"Oh", he mumbled.

"I won't do anything stupid, I'm just going to go see her." I said and I couldn't stop the tears from spilling. Even though I loved Fred, I had to be with someone who understood right now. Fred was so good, but he didn't understand. He couldn't and I didn't blame him for that, but he had to understand that I needed someone else now.

"Hey, that's fine. I just wanted to check up on you."

"I'll be fine", I said and walked away, not wanting him to see me sob.

I couldn't find Cho right away, but I did find Luna, who suggested I look in the library. The hallways seemed to be even colder and darker, even though it was almost summer.

There was no one to be seen in the library, but all the way at the back, the weak light of a lantern shone. I found Cho sitting against a bookshelf, staring at the cover of an old, red book. Her face was stained with dried up tears and her eyes looked empty. I sat down beside her and read the title of the book. A Guide to Advanced Transfiguration, it read. I smiled, even though that smile was immediately followed by a new stream of tears. I rested my head on my knees and sobbed loudly. Cedric loved Transfiguration. He was so good at it too. Now the world would never experience his talent again.

"He was such a nerd for transfiguration", Cho mumbled through her tears.

"He was", I said with a shaky voice. It felt weird talking about him in the past tense. It felt horrible.

"He was so smart", Cho said, caressing the book. I tried wiping away the tears, but they were immediately replaced by new ones. I rested my head on Cho's shoulder and we cried together in silence.

"His bogart was Voldemort, did you know?" I said. He had told me once when the topic came up and he looked generally scared. He was not afraid of admitting what he was scared of, or what he was proud of. He was so strong mentally, yet so incredibly kind. He died in the presence of his worst fear. That was something you wouldn't wish to anyone.

"I was going to meet his family next week", Cho mumbled. I can't imagine how she must be feeling. She had a future with him, and now that was gone.

"I don't know what to do", she said and sobbed loudly. I wanted to comfort her, but I didn't know how. I didn't know what to do either. I was too mentally unstable to provide any kind of support.

"I know", I mumbled and squeezed her hand. She squeezed back and we sat there for a while, silently crying. We sat there until the tears were replaced by complete emptiness. I stared at the bookcase in the same way Cho did when I found her.

"He deserved so much more", I whispered, before slowly falling asleep.

FRED'S POV

I stayed up all night, waiting for Y/N to return, but she didn't. I knew that she had to talk to Cho, but she was emotionally vulnerable right now and I just wanted her to be okay. I might have slept for half an hour when Hagrid came in to the common room, carrying a sleeping Y/N.

"Is she okay?" I whispered as I got up from the couch. It was almost 6AM, but I felt wide awake.

"I found 'er in the library with Miss Chang. Take care of 'er, she's got it rough", he mumbled and handed me Y/N's weak body. Her cheeks were stained with dried-up tears and her skin wasn't nearly as vibrant as it normally was. She didn't deserve this.

Hagrid left as I took Y/N to the couch. I laid her down in my lap and pulled a blanket over the two of us.

"I'm so sorry this had to happen to you, Y/N", I whispered. I had always been so nasty about her and Cedric, but she ignored my remarks and hung out with him anyway. She really cared about him, and now he was dead.

I combed her hair with my fingers as the first rays of sunshine started to seep through the window.

"Everything will be okay. I'll make sure of that", I whispered. I would.

YOUR POV

"Today we acknowledge a really terrible loss. Cedric Diggory was as you all know, exceptionally hard working, infinitely fair-minded and most importantly a fierce, fierce friend. Now I think therefore you have the right to know exactly how he died. You see, Cedric Diggory was murdered by Lord Voldemort. The Ministry of Magic does not wish me to tell you this, but not to do so I think would be an insult to his memory."

Dumbledore continued to talk about Cedric for a bit, but I zoned it out. I stared at my plate and tried to push away the thoughts of Cedric. It had been two days since what happened, and time passed slower than ever. I tried to keep myself busy so I wouldn't think about it as much, but that was rather difficult when we had a free week before we went back home, or at least, to the Weasleys. Fred had been a little busy these past days because of what happened. Due to the recent events, it was apparently not safe to stay at the Burrow. Therefore we would stay somewhere else and that had caused some complications. Fred couldn't tell me much, but it was something about an order that I was not a part of.

I had packed my things, stared out of the window for a while, hung out with my friends, took a walk, thinking about Cedric, said goodbye to my friends from other houses and stayed up for the biggest part of the night, crying over Cedric. My friends were really supportive though, as they tried to keep me distracted as much as possible too, but at some moments, I just didn't want to see anyone. Oh what I would give to just speak to Cedric one more time.

I poked in my food and kind of listened to the conversation, but no one was really in the mood to talk after what Dumbledore had said.

"Let's go, are you okay?" Fred asked and took my hand. I smiled at him and stood up. I was grateful to have him. Even though I had been the worst girlfriend in these past days, he was still more comforting than ever. I was really happy where our relationship was going, even though it was difficult to really be happy these days. Tomorrow I would meet his parents, which I was a little nervous about. Now I was not only Fred's girlfriend, I was also the fragile girl whose best friend just died.

Just one more sleepless night at Hogwarts. Tomorrow morning we would take the train to London to go back home. I took a deep breath and promised myself to keep it together tonight.