Behind Broken Walls (Zarry) GOING UNDER MAJOR EDITING*****

Chapter 6

There is no place like home for holidays.

"Where is he?!" I asked them breathing heavily in the hospital.

"He left Harry. He's not here." Niall groaned.

"I'm gonna go check the hotel room." I said. My heart was racing and I was mentally praying to god that Zayn would be there.

-

"Zayn!" I called out barging into the room. Everything was still messy, the beer bottles still sprawled out on the floor everywhere. The door to Zayns bedroom was open and I suddenly start to hear the sobs that were silently coming from Zayn.

"Zayn." I said softer then before.

I walked into Zayns room and I felt a lump in my throat begin to erupt. He sat there so broken and I hated myself, because I couldn't fix it no matter how hard I tried.

"Just.....hold me." He sobbed.

I walked over to him and sat on the bed by his side with my arm around his shoulder.

I placed my lips softly upon his forehead while rubbing circles on his back with my hand.

"Why does this happen to me?"he cried. "Why did I mess up?"

I let him rant rocking him back and forth gently. "Zayn you are not even close to a screw up."

"Yes I am!" He yelled standing up. "All I've done is sat around hating myself and being so angry for letting her go. Now all I do is drink and drink and fucking drink because of something stupid!" He cried. "With.....With Perrie, I felt like i had a place. A reason to live. Before her i didn't have that. Now i feel like nothing and i wanted to feel that again. I want to feel like I'm worth something, I don't just want to be a waste of space-

"You aren't. You are worth everything. You are worth love. You are worth happiness. You are worth peace. You are and deserve everything that is beautiful. You are worth the world." I said placing my hand against his cheek.

My heart sped up staring at his soft lips, I was tempted to connect with. I felt it. I felt nots and weakness just by looking into his brown eyes. My knees started to shake when my lips brushed against his.

Zayn stepped back and I hated the cold feeling when he let go. I felt warm when I was around him.

"Can you please go?" Zayn asked again making my blood boil.

"Last time I did that, you left." I said through gritted teeth. 

"Yea well if i want to run away; I run away. Its my choice!" He yelled.

"I'm not going anywhere!"

"Ugh!!!! Why do you always have to be such a jerk?!" Zayn said pulling at his hair.

"Me? A jerk? How am I a jerk?!" I said stepping forward causing Zayn to step back.

"You...... you......you won't leave me alone!"

"Maybe it's because I don't want too."

"Or maybe it's because you like bothering me at my worst!" I stepped forward and when there was no room for Zayn to move back, he squeezed his way out moving into the middle of the room.

"Or Maybe it's because I care about you!!"

"Ugh just shut up. "

"You shut up. "

"You're being childish."

"Oh my gosh just believe me for once Zayn!!"

"Well sorry but i don't, now go!"

"I said no!"

"HARRY I MEAN IT NOW GO!  LEAVE ME ALONE AND GO!!!!" This time Zayn was hysterically with tears in his eyes.

"WHY DO YOU KEEP PUSHING ME AWAY-

"BECAUSE I......I..... just forget it."

Zayn sobbed silently hugging himself. He seemed so alone. So lost. It made me realize that if Zayn left me, I wouldn't be able to think of living.

"Zayn, I don't want to lose you. I dont care if you don't fucking believe me but I care. I'd sacrifice everything just to keep you safe. I learned my lesson last time and I'm not leaving you alone." I rubbed my hands softly through his hair staring into his alluring golden brown eyes. I kissed the top of his forehead then left the room. 

"If you need me I'll be on the couch watching scandal." I smirked.

"Your a stubborn dick head." Zayn groaned but I could see him biting back a smile. A real smile.

"See you Zayn-

"Wait,  I'll sit with you." He ran out of his room, heading towards the couch. I chuckled watching Zayn grab the control turning on the TV. He blushed looking at me. "Why are you standing up there? Come sit with me. Your going to be on my tail for probably my whole life, might as well make the most of it." 

I smiled liking the idea of forever with Zayn. Yet that will never happen.

I wrapped my arms around Zayn as we watched scandal.... damn her dad is one odd man. Zayn rested his head on my chest and i don't know whet i was thinking but i placed my hands on Zayn's hair playing with the long silky strands.

"Harry." Zayn said looking up at me.

"I'm sorry. I know you want to be there for me and, I should accept that. I'm trying. I do believe you and i do trust you."

"You don't need to apologize."

"How are we still friends?" Zayn chuckled. My breath hitched at the word friends. I dont want to be his friend. I want to be something more.

"I ask myself that question everyday." I laughed even though it hurt to think about it.

"Thank you." Zayn mumbled tired. His eyes started to close and he lazily rested his head on my chest. I smiled and kissed his forehead.

"I love you. So much."

AN: YES! ! I UPDATED ON TIME!!!! I PROMISE I'LL FIX THE OTHRRS AND UPDATE THEM.

HAPPY HOLIDAY