How to Unkill Yourself [ruby da cherry]

Mindless Self Indulgence

     I sat, nervous, waiting for Ruby to return. He picked me up about an hour earlier and led me to a sort of entertainment room at Kevin's house. It was basically a small living room with a big TV.

     "Back," I heard him from the door.

     "Hey," I said. He picked up the remote from beside me and took its place. I was surprised by how close to me he chose to sit, he had the whole other side of the couch to himself.

     "Aight I know you don't know much 'bout movies but I remembered this one last night. I think you'll like it," he said. I watched as he pressed select on the remote and started the movie.

     "I'm sure I will," I said, and it was true. Force me to watch anything and I'll probably end up enjoying it on some level. Ruby shifted a bit as the credits ceased and some action started to happen on screen. I felt the presence of his arm behind my head and looked to see that he stretched them along the top of the couch.

     The movie played on and I found myself trying to stay exactly where I was. I didn't want to shift the wrong way and get too close to Ruby, even though he already sat close to me. We were about an hour into it, and I heard a loud knock on the door.

     "Yo, we gotta finish that beat soon, man," Kevin yelled from behind the door. Ruby paused the movie and walked over to the door. When he opened it, Kevin waved to me. I did the same, feeling a little awkward. I figured he didn't know I was there.

     "I'll only be an hour more, maybe less. It aight if Charlie comes along to watch?" Ruby motioned towards me, making me feel even more out of place.

     Kevin nodded. "Of course, she's cool. I'll see y'all in an hour then." And with that, he left.

     "I can go after the movie if you want, I don't have to stay and bother yous," I said. I hated feeling like a burden. Just one of my fuckin' problems.

     "Aye, you think I'd ask you to chill and then jus' watch a movie with you?" I was taken aback by how blunt he was being. He didn't sound angry, but it still put a scared look on my face. He sat back down next to me. "I wanna actually spend the day with you or sumn'. You don't gotta feel like you're botherin' me, cause I want you here."

     I looked into his eyes and nodded. "Thanks. Sorry, I get to thinking too much I guess."

     "No need to apologize, baby. Let's finish this movie so Kev doesn't get on my ass again," Ruby said. He resumed the movie and I was able to forget myself for a bit.

     By the time it was nearing the end, I felt better about the whole situation. I was finally getting accustomed to people actually wanting me around. It wasn't always the case while I was living with my shitty ex.

     "This was a good movie," I whispered, leaning slightly to the left so Ruby could hear me. He turned his head and looked down at me.

     "I knew you'd like it," he said with a smirk.

     "You were right," I said and turned to look back at him. The dim lighting in the room made his eyes appear darker.

     For some reason, we couldn't break our mutual gaze. He moved a little closer so that his face was just inches from mine. I let in a sharp breath and looked down to his lips. He was straightfaced as he put a hand to the side of my head. Holy shit was all I could think.

     "Aight! Times up, yeah I been timin' your bitchass!" Kevin shouted, bursting through the door. I jumped back and moved away from Ruby as quickly as I could.

     "Jesus fuck, man, you scared the shit outta me," Ruby said. Kevin laughed and walked away, saying something about following him to the studio.