How to Unkill Yourself [ruby da cherry]

A Set Of Strings Played Along With Her

     My eyes opened halfway and I couldn't quite recognize where I was. The feeling scared me for a moment until I became more aware and began to remember last night's events; both good and bad. Instinctively, I reached for my phone, but ended up with my hand on what felt like an elbow. I turned to my right and saw Ruby laying next to me, still asleep. There were no blankets covering him above his knees, so I took the covers that were bunched up beside me and tossed them back over him.

     "Thanks," he said, a roughness in his voice from sleep.

     "Sorry, I forgot to mention I hoard the covers," I said. He grunted in response. I propped myself up on my elbow and looked for my phone. Somehow it ended up between mine and Ruby's pillows. I turned it on and saw the time, 8:03, then laid back down closer to Ruby.

     The room was still dark because of the blinds on the window, but the light spilling in through the uncovered edges told me it was sunny out. I turned onto my side to face Ruby. With his eyes closed and his breathing deep and steady, he looked like everything I needed in that moment. Shit was getting too real too quick and I felt overwhelmed. He, on the other hand, looked calm and at peace.

     He cleared his throat. "Stop staring at me and go back to sleep," he said, eyes still shut.

     I quickly closed my eyes and said, "I wasn't staring." To which Ruby let out a 'hmm'. "Anyway," I started, opening my eyes and grabbing my phone. "I think I'm gonna take an Uber home."

     Ruby turned on his side to face me and put his free arm around me. "You're not goin' nowhere," he said.

     "I gotta go home," I said, trying to move his arm off of me.

     "Nah. You stayed here all night, a few more hours won't hurt."

     "Don't you have work you gotta-"

     "Shhhh, shut up, baby. Daddy's tryna sleep," Ruby said, to which I responded by mouthing 'oh my god'. It wasn't long before he actually did fall asleep and his arm that held me went limp. I strategically lifted it and got out of bed, putting my pillow in my place under his arm.

     I replaced his shirt with a random hoodie I found in one of the drawers. I slid my shorts on and quietly exited the room.

     Downstairs, I heard noises from the kitchen as I crossed the living room. When I got to the kitchen I saw Kevin putting something back in the fridge.

     "Morning," I said.

     He smiled at me and replied, "Mornin'. Help yourself to anything in here, I made a pot of coffee that'll be done in a few minutes."

     I nodded and said, "Thank you." I looked around until I found a granola bar and sat down across from Kev at the small table.

     "That's it?" he asked.

     "Yeah, I don't really have a huge appetite," I explained. I silently hoped he'd drop the subject.

     He shrugged, to my relief, and didn't question it further. "How's Rubes doin'?" he asked.

     "Um, fine, I'm guessing? He's sleep right now," I said. I didn't understand why Kevin was asking me about Ruby as if he was sick or something, and my confusion showed.

     "I guess he didn't tell you, huh?"

     "Tell me what?" I asked, kinda worried at this point.

     Kevin finished the last of his cereal quickly before responding, "Oddy's been in a bit of a funk lately. It started a week or so before we met you an' we've all been tryna help him out. I'm gonna tell you somethin', though." he looked around to make sure no one was there.