How to Unkill Yourself [ruby da cherry]

Four White Guys Named Biff

     I could not believe what I was seeing. I was frozen, I couldn't speak or really think, though I wanted to scream and run. My body betrayed me and I forced myself to walk over and sit down. My purse remained strangled in my left hand.

     There he was, in front of me, in all his dreadful glory. The man I ran from finally caught up to me. I didn't recognize him at first; his hair was now short and his clothes were more modern. But those beady little eyes gave me the same stare I saw the night I left.

     "Wha- umm, what're you doing here?" I asked, my voice hoarse from a dry throat. Daniel just looked at me, in silence. "I said, what the fuck are you doing here?" I brought my voice up, finding some string of confidence in me.

     He looked taken aback. No way was his little victim now a strong woman, not a chance. "So, as you can see, I got a new phone," he said, shaking his glossy iphone in my face.

     "I don't give a shit about that, Daniel, I wanna know why you're here. How did you find me? How do you know about Ruby?" I was pissed, but didn't yell. It was a public place after all.

     "Don't worry about it, Love. Just be happy I'm here now. I'm gonna take you home."

     "Oh hell no. Tell me how you did it. Now, or I swear to-"

     "Alright! Someone told me. It wasn't your brother, he's no fucking use. His boyfriend told me."

     "Are you fucking kidding me right now?" I was seeing stars. My boiling rage spilled out of me before I could think to contain it. "You are a fucked up individual, ya know that? You first hunt down my mother, then hunt down my brother, then hunt down his boyfriend or whatever the fuck- I can't believe you. I left you, and it was the best decision I ever made. If I had stayed, you would've killed me, fuck knows how many times you tried. And now you hunt me down and figure out all my business and who I'm involved with... what the fuck, Daniel? Like- just, why? Why me? I left you, end of story. You could've found someone else to torture and abuse. I hope you don't, cuz no one deserves to have done to them what you've done to me, but I need to be left alone.

     "There's so many other lives out there for you to ruin. Let me go, please. For once, in a long ass time, I felt free and good and alive. Please go back to Jersey and forget about me. Cuz I'm not coming back. And I just, I don't know why it had to be me. My life was fucked up enough, and once upon a time, I thought you would save me. You did the opposite, you do know that? Right? You must know that. And for what? Why? Why did it have to be me? Why did you follow me when I tried running away? Why are you here, really?"

     Daniel waited too long to answer. The bastard did it on purpose, I was certain. "Because, Charlie... I love you," he was good at making his words sound genuine and sweet. But I saw right through that pathetic little disguise.

     "Bull. Fucking. Shit. If you loved me, you would have been a good boyfriend. Not an abuser. Not the reason I probably need therapy," I spat. He sighed and reached to touch my arm, but I jerked away.

     "I do, you deserved everything that happened to you. Doesn't mean I don't love you. If anything, I love you more than words can describe if I put up with your bullshit."

     "Uh, no no. I never did anything and you know it. You were projecting your guilt onto me. You know how many girls sent me pics of you hooking up with them? Told me stories about how you fucked them while I was at work or asleep?"

     "They were all lying bitches. You know I'd never hurt you like that."

     "You hurt me in every way possible. You're a disgusting abuser and you're either fully sociopathic or delusional. You're nothing but a shit stain on an old, limp napkin to me now. For a long time. Now go back to Jersey before I slit your goddamn throat," I felt tears well up but pushed them down. He's seen me cry too many times, he's never gonna see it again.