How to Unkill Yourself [ruby da cherry]

Don't Let The Prices Fool You, Bro

     Instead of staying where I was, frozen like a deer in headlights, I got the sense to charge out of the foyer and up the stairs. Seconds after I began running, I heard Daniel fire his gun at me. He missed, but I knew that something was about to go down.

     "You fucking pussy!" I heard Ruby scream at him. I had made my way to my room at this point. "Leave before I end your pathetic fucking life!"

     I squeezed my eyes shut as I heard the booming sound of the door slam. Until then, I didn't even realize how hard I was crying. How the fuck did this happen? My heart was pounding in my chest and that feeling was only perpetuated as I heard footsteps come up the stairs.

     Ruby came over to me and knelt down beside me as I sat in the corner of my room, holding my knees to my chest. He tried talking to me, but I was too hysterical. After a while he got up and left the room. It only took a few minutes to calm myself down, but that only made me feel numb with a rock in my ribcage.

     I got up and pulled the curtain closed that separated my art space and the bedroom space. I sat on the floor again, same position. All I could do was stare at the floor and try to think of kittens and puppies or some shit. Anything that wouldn't make my mind wander to what just happened.

     My door opened, then the curtain, and in came Ruby with a plate of food that I guess he finished cooking. "He found me again," my voice was low and I was surprised Ruby even heard me. He set my plate down on my work table and crouched down to face me. "If I didn't run, he would have shot me and killed me or hurt me so bad I wouldn't be able to fight him if he tried to take me."

     "Baby, baby, it's okay. He's a coward, he's gone. He saw my glock an' shat himself," Ruby said.

     "No, I don't care. I was safe here and happy and he had to ruin it some-fucking-how. I don't know what to do with myself, I feel like I could live in the ocean in a sunken pirate ship and he'd still fucking find me," I spoke, finally breaking and becoming hysterical again.

     Ruby studied my face as I spoke, listening to me ramble and cry. He put a hand on my shoulder and lightly squeezed it, telling me "I'm here," without having to speak.

     "We both know he's probably still in the city. He prolly ain't gon' leave til he gets you. He knows you have nowhere else to run to. You gotta get a restraining order or put his ass in jail or somethin'," he said. His words caused me to cry even harder.

     "I don't wanna face him in court, please," I whined. Ruby shushed me comfortingly and stroked my head.

     "You gotta, baby, I'm sorry. That's the only way you'll get him away from you. I'mma getchu a lawyer fo' this."

     "I just want it over."

     "I know, so do I. I'mma look into a lawyer for you, aight? Eat your food and try to relax."

     "Fuck," I exhaled as the last of my available tears fell onto my face. I didn't even wanna think about all the shit I'd need to do to get this psycho off my back. Maybe I was dumb for thinking that I could just get rid of him by running. Let's face it; the guy's a weirdo and obviously would go to any means just to find me. No matter how extreme.

     Ruby kissed my head and left the room. He was almost hesitant to leave me alone, but honestly (in that moment) I wanted to fly to fucking mars and never speak to anyone again. I heard him talking to people through the walls and assumed he was filling everyone in on what had just happened. Now all my friends were gonna be worried and shit and it just was such an ordeal. My whole life is an ordeal at this point, though it was never peaches and fucking cream.