messing around with fate || Luke Hemmings

chapter nineteen

Jordan

-

My heart was beating in panics. I knew I made mistakes when I was drunk, but I was smart enough not to do this. I could not be that stupid to sleep with Ashton , while I was dating Luke. Even if I wasn't dating Luke, this still would not have been okay.

I grabbed a blanket and covered my exposed body, making my way out of the room, the last thing I needed was for Ashton to remeber, or someone to see me or him. This senario could not be worse.

I found my purse in the floor of Ashton's hotel room, and I slowly closed the door behind me. Then it hit me.

I had slept with Ashton. The soreness inside me was horrid, and it never hurt like that with Luke.

All my disturbing thoughts flew through my head like a tornado, and it seemed like my hotel room was miles away.

I finally found my door and unlocked it, quickly running inside, slamming the door. The hangover was approaching and I then felt the need to puke. As I was head first in the toilet, the memories and images relpayed in my head from last night. I remeber having a few shots of vodka, maybe more than a few. I remeber dancing with Ashton and that's all. I don't recall getting back to the hotel and I definetly don't remeber hooking up with Ashton. 

If anything, I was mad at Ashton. I just haden't found the courage to tell him yet. He was the reason I had to fake date him, he was the reason my internship got screwed up, and now he was also the reason that I've cheated on the boyfriend, who I was a hell of a lot more into.

I was confused, and not sure if I should tell Luke or mention it to Ashton. Maybe he was too drunk to remeber, and maybe this could all go away. The thought of lying filled my stomach and a cramp of guilt errupting, making me puke again.

I ammediantly got into the shower, I had too feel some what washed, and clean. I felt like a horrible person and dirty everywhere.

Maybe Ashton and I didn't sleep together, we just slept and my soreness all came from my pre-period , that was bound to start in a few days. The fact that I don't remeber what happened scares me. I don't like the feeling of confusion, I hate feeling guilty, and I hate lying to Luke. Maybe if I told him I would feel better, or told Ashton. I couldn't really think straight because of my pounding headache.

-

It was around four in the afternoon. I knew the boys had a day off and Luke was on his way over. I had calmed down slightly and planned on telling Luke. I could not handle the guilt, especially if I wasen't even guilty.  I wasn't sure.

I hear the door knock, and get up to let Luke in, I slowly walked over, dreading the future conversation.

"Hey baby." Luke greeted grabbing my hips and kissing me ammidiantly. He pushed the door closed with his foot, continuing to kiss me. I wanted to kiss back, but I coudln't. My brain wasn't working and I felt motionless.

"Luke." I whispered, slightly pulling away.

"Yeah." He moaned, his lips traveling down to my neck.

"We need to talk." I told him, pushing him awaY at his chest.

He suddenly stopped, and held my hand, making patterns with his other hand on my thigh. He was so delicate and his gentle touch only made my guilt grow.

I don't know if it was hormones or just my terrible hangover, but I started crying, and crying hard.

"Jordan what's wrong?" Luke said, his face filled with concern.

"Last night, I got really drunk with Ashton and I don't remeber what happened." I cried, trying to stop, but just ended up stuttering.

'"What do you mean?" He asked, sadness filling his eyes.

"I woke up next to.. Ashton-"

"That doesn't mean you had sex." Luke spit out, not making eye contact with me. His hopeful manner was adorable, but wasn't very strong, and that's what worried me.

"I know. I-i'm sorry. I don't remeber. I'm so stupid." I let out, tears still falling.

"It's okay. I just don't know if I can trust you Jordan. I like you so so much, but this really worries me. Everyone make mistakes, it's just something we need to work on, and I know it's hard because of this whole Ashton thing, but you're mine, not his and he needs to know that."

He breathed heavily, causing me so much relief and comfort. I will never understand how he is so compasionite. That is an amazing quality and it made me never want to lose Luke.

"Thank you. That means everything to me Luke. And, I like you a lot too, and I'm not going to let anything come between that. You are so understanding. Maybe we should talk to Ashton." I suggested, having my fingers cross nothing physical happened between us.

"Yeah maybe." Luke slightly smiled, pulling me into a hug and rubbing my back.

-

"So do you know if you and Jordan slept together?" Luke asked Ashton, after explaining everything to him. We were currenlty sitting on the tour bus, rpreparing to leave for Ireland.

"Hate to say it, but I honestly have no clue. I was hammered last night." Ashton said, brushing a hand through his shaggy hair.

"Well is there anything to help us figure out if we did?" He added, looking at me.

"Uhm, well... I was really sore when um I woke up." I admitted shyly, I faked a cough afterwards.

"Fuck." Luke groaned, putting his hands over his face.

"But I did start my period a few hours ago, and I'm not really sure. I never felt like that when Luke and I, you know." I spit out, hoping to clear things up.

"Okay that could be, so since we really don't know, lets just say we didn't." Ashton smiled and walked away.

"Luke I'm sorry." I sighed. "I know this must be hard for you." I whispered, rubbing his leg gently.

"I just get so jealous." He said, which was honestly kind of hot.

"You don't have to be. I don't like Ashton. I like you." I told him, pulling him into a hug.

"How do I know?" Luke asked.

"I'll show you." I smirked, and pulled him into the bus bathroom.

A/N

HEY SORRY IVE BEEN SO BUSY, BUT ILY ALL AND THANKS FOR READING<3

i FEEL LIKE MIKE AND CAL HAVE BEEN REALLY ABSENT IN THIS FANFIC WHICH I HATE, SO IM GONNA TRY TO ADD THEM IN MORE, I JUST DONT KNOW HOW, BUT I REALLY WANR TO AND I HAVE A CALUM FANFIC OUT RN. READ IT. AND ILL HAVE AN ASHTON ONE AFTER THIS ONE AND THEN A MIKEY ONE I THINK BUT WE'LL SEE. OKAY ILY