Challenge Accepted (Editing)

Its Going To be Okay

I did not like that B and I argued, about something that's not even worth it to make it worse. I was just irritated and wasn't thinking properly, it's his choice not mine. Why am I so selfish? I shouldn't have done that, it was so wrong.

"Jamie?" Eric asked walking into his room while I sat on the bed quietly, thinking, "You alright, baby?" Eric sat next to me and I leaned on his shoulder.

"I feel terrible," I groaned, "Everything I said was so ignorant of me. I hate th-"

"Jamie," Eric says as a warning, "Do not talk down upon yourself. You can't undo what you did but you can correct it. But was it truly a mistake though?"

"...I..I don't know. Was it?" I was so unsure about it.

I wanted to like Owen but I can't, I couldn't. I should just fake it, right? It will make B happy, so why not? But, there's something off about him...

"You would have had to tell him either way so in a way it's good that you did." He reassures as he rubs my back soothingly.

"But the thing is, I can't like him. There's just something about him that's just odd about him. Like, I can't trust him and yet I barely even know him. And the fact that I yelled at B about it instead of just being rational is really getting to me...I really feel so terrible. I just feel like a bad friend, my opinion shouldn't matter when it comes to this and yet I was so selfish. I-"

"Jamie...What are talking about? You're not selfish or a bad friend, so don't think that or be like that. It's okay that you care for him, even when you both disagree or argue and that doesn't mean that you're automatically in the wrong because you feel bad. Baby, you are so compassionate but please give yourself some compassion. You are so loving and yet you still doubt yourself. You are amazing. You're not selfish or a bad friend, it's okay."

I hate feeling so weak at times. I hate feeling insecure, or just down in general, it hurts. I hate needing reassurance because then I feel needy or like I'm being a bother.

I bury my face in Eric's chest and let my tears flow. I can keep so much in and when it needs to come out I let it out, especially when there's no point in keeping it in.

Eric heard the sniffles and held me close to him. He let me cry, which I am so thankful for.

Everything's gonna be okay.

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It was later in the day, I was still at Eric's house, B didn't try to contact me. At all. Which hurt a lot but maybe things will be better when I go back home, hopefully anyways since it was already getting kinda late.

Something like this has never happened to us before and it's kinda heartbreaking that our friendship is faltering, even if it is just a little bit, it still hurts.

I was sitting in the living room, waiting for Eric to get his keys so he can drop me off. I didn't want to go but I needed to mainly because I needed to apologize and because it was a school night.

Eric came back, keys in hand, and I got up and went over to the door.

"I wish you didn't have to leave." Eric complains.

I small grin grew on my face as he walked closer to me and placed his hands on my waist, "I know, you big baby. I have school tomorrow and you also have school and if I stay over we both know that we wouldn't be going." I teased while he placed a gentle kiss on my forehead.

"Well I could've told you that." Eric chuckled, "C'mon, let's get you home."

He took my hand in his, lead me out the door and we were on our way back to my house.

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We made it, it has been a long day, I'm tired. We made it back, B'a car is still here, and we are currently sitting in the car, in front of the house.

"I'm nervous. What if he doesn't forgive me? What if I just messed up our entire friendship?"

"Jamie, you know Brandon. He wouldn't do something like that and you know it." Eric reassures softly.

I took a deep breath, in and out, "Yeah, you're right. I'm just on edge." I confess, "I have to go though. I love you."

"I love you too."

We leaned in and kissed each other goodbye. I opened my door and left the car. I waved bye at him and went up to the house door while he was still watching me get there safely.

So protective, I'm just going to the door.

Once I opened the front door I turned around and nodded at him knowingly so he can leave. I giggled as he pulled off while I went inside.

I closed and locked the door as I heard distant chattering coming from the kitchen. I braced myself and went to the kitchen, ready to apologize even though I walked quite slowly.

I crept to the kitchen, as their voices got closer and closer I got more anxious. I was finally there standing in the doorway getting ready to speak as they noticed me. Their smiles faded away making this even more uncomfortable for me.

"B, can I talk to you. Alone."

Owen didn't seem too thrilled about that but B walked over to me anyways. As he got closer I started walking to my bedroom so we could be completely alone without being heard.

We made it to my room and as I was closing my door B started the conversation, "What is it you wanted?" B says, obviously not happy.

Hearing him sound this way made me feel even worse, "I just wanted to apologize for acting the way I did. It wasn't right of me to do that and I'm sorry that I was being so selfish. I wasn't thinking properly and my opinion shouldn't matter when it comes to who you hang out with and for that I am really sorry." I say sincerely but B's facial expression didn't change.

"Jamie, I'm glad that you apologized but I don't know if I should accept it-"

"What?" I didn't mean to interrupt him but I just didn't understand why.

"I don't know if I should accept it. Owen heard you say those things and it hurt him," why do I have a hard time believing that, "He said that he thinks that you're a cool person to be around and that he likes you. He wanted to cry because of it, Jamie. So why should I forgive you?"

Seriously?! No, I'm not gonna get upset. Im gonna keep my cool.

"B...What am I supposed to say? I apologized and I really am sorry and you'd rather take his side rather than me?" I face palmed mentally, why did I say that, "I mean- I'm not trying- I don't mean for you to choose sides, I just-...I don't understand."

"Owen just thought that it would be better if-"

Excuse me?

"Wait, you're letting Owen decide on our friendship problem? I swore I thought it was just me and you in this best friends thing so why the hell are you letting him decide?"

"I'm not letting him decide!" B defended.

"It's exactly what you're doing! B, I came back here so I could apologize and that's exactly what I did but you're just gonna stand there and let someone, that you're absolutely whipped over, decide our problems? Our. Problems?!"

"Jamie, he's apart of the so called 'problem' so why wouldn't his opinion matter?!"

"Because he is the topic of the problem! Not the problem itself! Brandon, what the hell happened while I was gone?! Did you let him determine whether or not we should be friends too?! Like what kinda fucked up shit is that?!"

"He still should matter in this! And don't dare to say something happened to me, what happened to you?!"

"I. Already. Fucking apologized! I was genuinely apologizing because I actually felt bad! I felt selfish for even opening my mouth, I felt like shit because of what I said and I tried to make it right but look where we are now! Brandon, I don't even know when you're gonna be leaving and I hate having us end the day like this but here we are!"

B then looked regretful but I was still filled with rage, "Jamie...I'm s-"

"I don't forgive you. Now, get out."