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Chapter 13

[Trigger warning: Self-harm]

Gusto niya munang mag-focus sa academics.

Iyon ang sinabi ni Clary sa akin. Days before the CAL art exhibit, she filled up the resignation form and officially left the club. Guia and I had nothing to do about it. We understand her situation. She just wanted to redeem herself and her grades for the upcoming final term of the first semester. The simultaneous pressure brought by acads and extra-curricular activities is undeniably draining, so I can't blame her.

Ayaw sana namin siyang paalisin. Nakikita ko kung gaano siya kasaya tuwing may activities ang CAL. Sumisilay ang totoong ngiti sa labi niya kapag ginagawa niya ang mga gusto niyang gawin. Malaya. Masaya. Patuloy lang sa paglikha at pagguhit.

The bright look on her face while we were painting that mural... it will always be unparalleled.

But she stood firm on her decision on quitting the club, and I respect that.

"Sayang, 'tol. Hindi ka na gaganahang umattend ng meeting niyo."

I frowned at Iggy while we were walking to the library to borrow some books. Napag-utusan kami ng prof namin sa General Physics na humiram ng mga specific na libro para sa lesson mamaya. Nakuwento ko kina Iggy at Pat ang pag-alis ni Clary sa club.

"It's not like that," sabi ko. "Sumali naman ako sa CAL nang hindi kilala si Clary."

"Sus."

Though he was partly right... because whenever I attend CAL's activities, I was always looking forward to see her. I could not deny that. Pakiramdam ko, ngayong wala na siya sa club, ang daming magbabago... lalo na sa akin. Masyado akong nasanay sa presensya niya simula noong naging member ako sa club.

And now that she would not be around anymore... I don't know if I would still feel that ounce of excitement whenever I need to accomplish my duties.

We entered the library and searched for the two specific Physics books from the shelves. Nahanap na ni Iggy 'yong isa. I was carefully reading every book edge to find the book we need, when something interesting caught my attention. I pulled it from the shelf and my face beamed in delight.

It's a Science fiction book. Thank goodness I found this here. I have already read its prequel and I think it's about time to read this one, kahit 'yung simula lang.

"Tol, nakita ko na," nilapitan ako ni Iggy na may dalang dalawang libro. "Para saan 'yan?" Itinuro niya ang librong hawak ko.

"Babasahin ko," I told him.

"Kukunin nila 'yong ID natin, 'di ba? Hindi tayo pwedeng mag-uwi ng libro," he reminded me.

"I know. Ibabalik ko mamayang uwian."

Hiniram ko ang libro mula sa librarian kasama no'ng dalawang Physics book na kailangan namin sa subject. We spent the next few hours in class, attending lessons, taking up quizzes, recitations.

Ever since we entered the last few weeks of the first semester, our schedules became more hectic. We became busier dealing with academic requirements. Clary and I seldomly see each other. Magkaiba naman kasi kami ng strand at walang dahilan para magkita kami, unless it's an art club matter. Pero ngayon, ni hindi man lang namin makasalubong ang isa't isa sa hallway o sa kahit saang parte ng university.

After the class had been dismissed, pinag-usapan pa namin ang mga gagawing group works. Nagpaalam ako kay Mama na mala-late na naman ako ng uwi. We headed home after that and made our way through the exit. Bago pa man ako makakuha ng pamasahe, mayroon akong nakapa sa loob ng bag pagkabukas ko ng zipper nito.