Good Morning, Sunshine

opening the shutters

~
When you've accepted reality, get up and shape it into something you like.
~
Blackness. Blissful nothingness.

But good things don't last forever and when you can already feel the nothingness and see the blackness then you can be sure that both will be gone soon. And that you don't have a say in it.

The first thing I felt was a very strong headache.

Where was my nothingness?!

The next thing I felt was someone touching me, hands methodically wandering all over my body, never touching me inappropriately.

It felt like a medical examination.

Was I finally back in my world? The Jaromir the cat world?

Hope grew inside of me like a flower in the rain.

Maybe everything would finally be alright. I was probabaly badly injured because the pain in my head was horrible but I'd be fine. Everything would be like it used to. I'd probably quit the MARVEL fandom though. Those movies really weren't good for me, it seemed.

Then I heard a voice.

Hope can be poison.

"And you're sure that the tiger's fast asleep? I really don't want to be attacked"

Tiger.

No. Not my world.

I wanted to cry.

The gentle hands got to my face. Two fingers pulled up my right eyelid and a light was shone into my eye. I couldn't see anything else but this bright light.

I was awake.

A tear ran down my cheek, freed of its prison by the person examining me.

"She's awake" , stated said person.

The light was removed and I considered keeping my eyes closed.

That wouldn't change anything though. It had already been announced that I was awake and acting like I was still unconscious would have made me a coward.

So I blinked.

Multiple people were staring down at me, one of them kneeling next to me, hastily moving away.

Fury wasn't one of them.

I still knew every single face and no matter how cool it was to actually see all of them up close I didn't enjoy the attention.

The way they stood above me made me feel as inferior and helpless as I probably was. All I could do was stare back up at them.

The one kneeling was Banner, the guy who shared his mind and body and probably everything else with the hulk. He appeared to feel insecure and his expression was one big apology.

I'd always perceived him as being a background worker, an introvert who was on a desperate search for himself and had failed for years, unable to accept who he was. Who preferred to stay in the background because he assumed that everyone else hated him as much as he hated himself. Unable to love because he couldn't love himself. Until Endgame. He'd appeared to be genuinely content with himself, at peace with who he was and the hulk within then. Finally. He deserved it.