Mi Reina

Chapter 69

KandiceKardashian: The cutest thing ever

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I smile at Kim who is pushing a sleeping Cristian in the pram. I already know that we are about to get a bunch of paparazzi due to my public outburst so we've decided to show some love to Luxe Lopez by wearing sunglasses from her brand LuxeGlass.

"I'm thinking of taking my music more seriously." I tell Kim as I pick up Saint. 

"Like create an album and tour?"

"I definitely want to make an album but I'm not too big on touring." We start crossing the street with all eyes on us.

"What changed?" She asks and I bite the inside of my cheek.

"My son." I honestly answer. "I want him to remember me for something more than just being his mother, I want him to be proud of me. His father has created history and has done so much with his music. I just feel as if I haven't done as much as I could have even though I have collaborated with other peoples and we have Skims together. I just want something for myself, something that I can be proud of."

"I totally understand."

We walk into an empty ice cream shop which is only empty because we had our security clear the shop. Within minutes of being in there, we place our orders before taking a seat at a booth.

"Are you planning on coming back on the show?" Kim asks and I pull a face. 

"I think that I might consider coming back, I do miss seeing all of you guys." I shrug my shoulders. "I just don't want my divorce to be publicized even more than it already has."

"Mommy ice cream." North points towards the worker walking over to us with three of the ice creams. We thank them as we wait on the other ice creams before eating them in the ice cream shop.

"I still can't believe that you're a mom." Kim says as she looks at Cristian with a smile on her face. "I'm just so happy for you."

"Thanks Kim." I pull her in for a quick hug. "By the way, Khloe told me that you went mental on Kourtney. What was that about?"

Kim quickly explains about Kourtney not appearing on the show as scheduled along with the fact that she confronted her about the whole Jose situation.

"Damn." I lick some of my ice cream. "Are you kicking her off?"

"We'll see but I'm all for it. We are not about to be paid the same amount of money when I'm the one taking all of your hours." I nod my head in agreement. 

We spend the next few hours shopping for the kids since they are always growing. North definitely has a taste for the finer things in life because she spent the most money. That little girl wanted snake print, fur jackets and all of that jazz.  

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"Why the hell didn't you show up for the court hearing?" Those are the first words to leave my lips as soon as I spot Jose. "What the hell is wrong with you? You wanted to divorce me."

"I made a mistake." He sighs as he looks at me. "Kandice, I love you."

"Then why did you do this?" I ask, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. This is all too much, he is playing too many mind games with me.

"Because I am scared." He confesses and I give him a look of confusion. "Kandice you are one of the most sought out women and I've always been scared that you would find somebody better than me."

"I married you, I planned to have our wedding sooner than we discussed because I didn't want to lose you. When you got into that boating accident, I thought that I lost you. You are the love of my life, my soulmate yet you treat me like I'm not yours." I rub my face in frustration. "You hurt me all the time. I have never expressed any interest in another man nor do I associate myself with single men."

"Let's call off the divorce." I look at him stunned.

"No." I shake my head. "We have gotten this far so let's finish it."

"It's not what I want anymore."

"But it's what I want." I bite down on my lower lip. "I don't want to be married to someone like you. You don't make me happy anymore and you don't even see your son anymore."

Jose walks up to me and cups my face. I brace myself for what's coming next, I let out a small sigh just before he captures my lips in his. I close my eyes for a moment, taking the time to cherish this moment because this will probably be our last kiss.

"Don't leave me." He mumbles against my lips.

"You left me." I pull myself away from him. "My lawyer will be in touch with yours. If you care about our son then you will do this, you will be at the next court hearing and we will get divorced."

"I can't." He shakes his head and I scream in frustration.

"Fuck you, Jose." I let out a string of curse words as I push him away from me. "Why the fuck did you kiss Kourtney?"

"It was a mistake." He sighs and I slap him across the face. "Kandice."

"Everytime I fought her, you broke up with me and then she tells me this. Answer this, do you love her?" I ask as I get in his face. "Did you fuck her like you fucked me?"

"Kandice stop. You know that I would never sleep with your sisters."

"Then why the hell did you kiss her?" I'm not desperate to know the answer, I just want to close this chapter of our story.

"I don't know." I scoff at his response.

"You're lame, really lame." I start walking back to my car. "I can't believe that I married such an asshole."

"I wanted to move on." I stop in my tracks but I don't turn back. "The truth is that it's not about you being a beautiful woman and me thinking that you will leave me. The problem was you Kandice. You are a very difficult woman to deal with, to keep up with and I had to question if whether I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you."

I hug myself as a few tears fall from my eyes.

"I love you, I really do but I didn't know if I could be with you." I let out a sob at his words because it hit me deep since Jose has never said this. "Kandice, please don't cry. I love you so much but you are not the same woman that I fell in love with."

"So who am I?" My voice breaks and I pinch myself for it.

"A very angry and broken woman who needs help."