Give Me Love --- Michael Langdon [[Book One Complete]]

Part 11

Man, this story is just spewing from me. I love when I get so inspired I can't stop writing. I legit thought this fic would be like three chapters long and be all smut. Oh how wrong I was :') let me know if you guys like it.

This chapter is a tad shorter and kinda fillery, but it does move things along. I just needed things to progress. My brain is like ten steps ahead of my writing and I've got so many ideas for future chapters that I need to catch up to before I forget loool

-------------------------------------

Three days passed by painfully slow. Amy was ready to tear her fucking hair out. Every night she'd had that same dream and it made her feel hollow inside and scared. Her fear of being alone forever was getting worse. She couldn't shake the feeling that it meant something. Michael hadn't spoken to her once. When she would wake, he would already be gone. He wasn't in class anymore either. When she asked Zoe, the woman told her that Michael had asked Cordelia to be tutored on his own for now. Zoe didn't know why but asked the girl if she knew if anything had happened to upset him. Amy lied and said no. She never lied to Zoe, but somehow she couldn't bring herself to admit that she was responsible for upsetting the Antichrist. He was never at dinner, he never seemed to be anywhere. And when she would go to their room, he'd be in bed asleep already.

She had wanted distance, yet now he was putting so much between them, it was killing her. Her dreams only made it worse. Making her want their friendship back to how it used to be. The more distance he created, the more she craved to be with him. It was driving her insane. Coco had suggested meeting up with Ryan to take her mind off it. At first she didn't want to. The thought of meeting her old friend with benefits was unappealing to her now if she was honest. And their last rendezvous had been unsatisfying for her and less than subpar. But the longer she sat there obsessing over the boy she had hurt, the more she realised she needed to do something. She wasn't ready to admit she had some feelings for him. She just couldn't do it. She didn't do feelings. She wasn't capable of it. So the only other option was to text Ryan and ask if he wanted to hook up. She hoped that filling her mind and body with someone else would be enough to snap her out of it. Maybe she was just obsessed with the orgasms Michael gave her? It was nothing to do with his angelic face. Or how he felt warm and smelled like fire. Nothing to do with how he made her feel safe and cared for. Or how he looked after her and made her feel special.

She sat on her bed when she was just about to leave, but the urge to stay was overwhelming. In the end, she cancelled on Ryan. She just couldn't face going there yet. She got up, ready to go down and find Mallory to hang out or something, but as she opened the door, Michael was about to come in. They looked at each other startled for a moment, neither of them expecting it. But then his eyes turned cold and he slipped past her. She stood there, contemplating her next move. Her dream was plaguing her and it was too much to bear. Now being in his presence, she needed to grow some balls. She stepped back into the room, leaning against the door as she shut it and looked at him. He was changing into his sleep pants and t-shirt and he glanced at her curiously as she just stood there.

"I miss you," she whispered weakly, glaring at the floor. Her voice was so small and she hated it. There was a tense silence for a moment and when she looked up, he was sitting on his bed looking at her with wide eyes. The coldness was gone but now he looked sad.

"I miss you too," he replied quietly.

She heaved a sigh and walked over, feeling hesitant and anxious. She sat on the end of his bed, trying to avoid his piercing gaze.

"I'm sorry, okay? I made things weird and I just... you know me, Michael, you saw everything. You know I don't do serious. I shouldn't have crossed that line with you and I'm sorry. But I miss you. I miss us just hanging out and being friends," she blurted, unable to stop herself. She looked at him imploringly and she saw his adam's apple bob as he looked down. He looked dejected.

"I want us to be friends again too. I don't like it when your upset with me," he muttered sadly. His hands were toying with his blanket and she reached out, taking it in hers.

"I'm not upset with you. I'm upset with myself. I feel like... I don't want to make things complicated with us, but I have. I just want things back to how they were," she frowned. He nodded, licking his lower lip.

"I'd like that," he whispered, squeezing her hand. He felt sad that things had shifted so much between them. The day she'd come down to class it felt like she'd ripped his heart out and stuffed it into a blender. He couldn't figure out what he'd done wrong. But now he knew. She didn't mean any of it. It had been the state of mind she was in that drove her to do those things with him and it felt like a knife to the heart. But she wanted to be friends with him again. She said she missed him. He just wanted her in his life so he'd take it, no matter how much it hurt him. Maybe he could get her to like him that way again. Maybe she did feel that way really. He was confused. But she seemed just as confused. So he was happy to just be her friend and see what happened.

Amy felt the relief flooding her body now the air was somewhat clear. Things were still a little tense. The elephant of feelings in the room that went unspoken was looming over the pair but she felt good that they were at least talking again. She hoped that fucking dream would leave her alone now.

"Maybe we could go to the waffle house?" Michael suggested with a hesitant smile. Her eyes widened and she looked at him in horror. It made him frown and look confused.

"No!" she muttered tensely.

"Why not?" he asked carefully, watching her with wide eyes.

"I just... I don't feel like it. Not today. Maybe we could watch a movie," she said softly. He smiled though, he always liked watching movies with her.

As always, he watched her undress and get into her pyjamas before she climbed under her blanket. He watched from his bed until she glanced at him. The air was still somewhat tense, it would take some fixing of their friendship to get rid of the strain. His heart was aching in his chest after the revelation that she hadn't really meant anything they did together. His fingers rubbed his heart tattoo and he tried to remind himself that on that day, she had been in her right mind and she had wanted to share that with him. They had been best friends and it would be better than nothing. She grabbed her laptop and messed around as she set it up before she gestured with her head for him to come over. He wasted no time in jumping up and getting under her covers next to her.

It was a horror movie, and he knew she'd picked it for him because she was never really that into them. It made his aching heart ease ever so slightly as he leant against her, laying his head on her shoulder. She tensed for a moment before she relaxed and she lay her head on his. He liked this. Her warmth filled his cold heart and her scent soothed him. He tried to ignore the heartache and just focus on the fact that she was there. Amy stared at the screen but wasn't focusing on the movie. She felt so conflicted about everything. Deep down she knew she felt something for him but she couldn't bring herself to admit it. She was furiously trying to build her walls back up before she slipped into insanity. She tried not to think about how her heart fluttered when he snuggled into her more. She couldn't. It wasn't fair to him. He wanted something she couldn't give him and she couldn't be selfish and drag him along for her selfish needs. It was ironic really. So much of her life she'd wished to find someone to care about her. Now she had someone, she really wished he didn't care as much as he did. It would have made things a whole lot easier.