L_O_V_E...

05

' Hey beautiful.'

Nkuli sighed when she opened her door to a very cheerful Susie.

' Okay what's wrong with you? On your period? Or are you already going through menopause Nkuli?'

' Really? I know I was a mother at a very early age but I'm too young for menopause. If anything you'll get it first since you're older.'

' Two years older not much of a difference. Are you still in a mood because of the boys?'

' Nope just feeling under the weather today. Not sick but not feeling good either. Maybe I'm depressed or something.'

' You mean dick-pressed. When last did you have sex?'

Nkuli chuckled. Susie was never the type to mince her words and always asked the difficult question.

' I'm not that and to answer your question. I haven't had sex in maybe three years.'

' Three years?! Hun how do you cope? I mean I can't spend a week without-'

' I don't need to know all that and since my separation I haven't had the time to date much and when I do. It's usually a disaster. Even of I did meet someone I like being a mother of four doesn't give me the privilege of doing such.'

Susie poured herself a glass of wine while shaking her head.

' You cannot seriously blame your kids for your fear of men. We know Kenny's infidelity hurt you but you have to give yourself a chance to love again.'

' The problem is not that I'm hurt. Kenny is the only man I've ever been with. Started dating him at sixteen and he took my virginity. I know nothing else but him. It's going to take sometime for me to fall out of love with him.'

'I don't get why you don't work on your marriage.'

After ten years of marriage they had somehow lost their spark and become monotonous that he started entertaining another woman and it hurt her when she found out. They tried therapy and whatever was out there for couples but nothing worked. So she suggested a separation.

' You know he's just a call and half an hour away.'

' I know and I also know he hurt me and I just can't forgive him like that. Even if I miss him dearly. Plus he moved on remember.'

' You know there's nothing wrong with reconciling. Especially since you're still inlove.'

' Love cannot fix our problems. You of all people know what he said when I found out about the other women.'

' Hun I did not say this back then because you were hurting. I understand that he hurt you by cheating but you had been neglecting him for quite some time. Which worsened after you had Minnie.'

' Susie I tried being a business woman, wife and mother simultaneously but unfortunately some of my duties had to suffer. I could not let my business suffer or my kids. You guys make it sound like I just kept him in the back burner. I cooked for him made sure he was good and gave him sex when I could.'

' It wasn't enough for him. You know men are wired different.'

Nkuli sat quietly listening and thinking. She still loved him but was not sure that their love could be salvaged.