Between Us [ZhuiYiship]

: 24th [End]

Omniscient Point of View

The cold breeze of the dawn caressed the beautiful Lutos around the Pavilion, together with the two people in fluttering white robes rooted standing inside the pavilion peacefully.

None of them are saying anything, seems time for them had stopped aside from one's tears that never ceases to fall...

Lan JingYi is stilled in his stance as he locked gaze with the tearful Lan SiZhui,

Lan JingYi cannot processed immediately in his mind what had Lan SiZhui meant by those thrown words of him awhile,

Not breaking the silence between them but one of them took steps away from the other, with trembling and slow steps -----------walking outside the pavilion with a downcast expression.

Lan JingYi was left behind unable to utter a retort or any word to stop Lan SiZhui from leaving... Lan JingYi's mind is filled with shattered thoughts together with his throbbing heart, without his notice his eyes blurred from the tears and not long after as those left his eyes till then he had realized he was left behind by his beloved...

" Won't y..you hurt me... m-more if you l--leave me?.."
Lan JingYi uttered in between his tears,

He turn around and looked for Lan SiZhui yet the one's he's hoping to catch up had gone in the sight already.

He never knew how many minutes had he stoned there, he hardly heave a breathe for his surging emotions.

Why would he say that?
Why would he blame himself...

Why is he insecure...

Those thoughts circled in Lan JingYi's mind as he clutched his chest, his heart is hurting so much he might collapse any minute...
And somehow, he is blaming himself for being guilty in being so careless and dense that he never knew he is already causing trouble and pain for Lan SiZhui.
Maybe Lan SiZhui thought that Lan JingYi's feelings for him is shallow that one day both of them would be in separate ways.
And that realization made Lan JingYi to sob more, he cannot blame Lan SiZhui for having those mindset since even a single request from him-------referring to the thing SiZhui said to him that at the least, make a distance from Jin Ling or else Lan SiZhui will be jealous... yet Lan JingYi although properly comprehended it still never applied it to action and just act carelessly.

It is my fault... I should be the one to blame...

SiZhui doesn't need to blame himself...
I'm miserable! I... shouldn't make SiZhui suffer more.. anymore.

Lan JingYi has been reflecting for awhile, having difficult decisions of letting go SiZhui, his mind thought it would be the best choice to agree to the separation that SiZhui said since that would make SiZhui not to suffer anymore as well yet from the deepest part of himself.... of his soul... of his heart, he cannot let go of SiZhui even in times both of them are hurting,

" But all I know is that, I... love him so much.. "
Lan JingYi uttered to himself as he slowly sat to the seat beside the pavilion's pillar.
He thought he need a bit of time to think more, reflect and weigh more what's best to decide, although he knew well both of his heart and mind are contradicting...

....................

Almost an hour had passed until Lan JingYi stood up with his crestfallen heart never healing, it is getting severe adding more to the decision he had decided,