random digimon stuff

Oh shit he's on a building

Guess who's redeeming Benjamin because fuck you
Me, bitch
I'm sorry
Anyways have some angst.

Benjamin Seya Arimaia
Most people hated him, and this was something he knew
They didn't know why he was so horrible, but it's not like they cared.
But he's easily influenced. Does to people what his father does to him. Not his mother. Not Akeia. They're fine.

But him.

He wasn't REALLY a boy is what his father told him.
Beatrice, is what he was called at home.
He was still a girl to him..
He shouldn't "try to be a boy" is what his father said.
And that's the main reason he was hurt

He'd been scared, assulted, beaten down so many times.. He just started mirroring it onto other people.

It was a long time before he realized how bad this was. 3 maybe 4 years? Since he started having classes with Arlo.

He really liked Arlo. He knew she hated him. He knew exactly why.. He just wouldn't leave her alone.

That's why a lot of people hated him, honestly. There was.. also the fact that he just acted like a general bitch. He didn't want to. He wanted to be better. He wanted to be friends with them.

"You're already past redemption. They hate you." He told himself. It was the truth. It sucked too. He didn't want to be like his father. He didn't want to feel like this anymore. It hurt so much... He hated it, more than he hated himself, honestly. He wanted to disappear.

That's when he remembered the building he had told Cody of a few weeks prior. The top of a skyscraper. He knew the way because he ran from home and hid there sometimes.

He decided to go up there one last time.
It was a Saturday, so there wasn't really much going on. He was on top of the skyscraper, looking at the ground below. His feet were already over the edge. He was about to lift his foot and fall when he heard footsteps behind him, and a voice following

"Benjamin? What are you.." The voice asked. He knew exactly who it was. Cody hida. The only other one who knew the way up here. Benjamin started shaking.

"I'm not Benjamin,,, I'm.. Beatrice.. That's what dad says," he deadnamed himself. "And I can't take this anymore.. I don't WANT to go home. I don't WANT to be hurt anymore... Cody, I don't want to be a girl again!"

Cody was confused at first, then remembered Izzy and instantly understood..

He understood why he always got upset when someone would Deadname Izzy, or disrespect him for being trans in general.

Benjamin wasn't done speaking though, and so he looked at him and listened to him speak.

"I don't wanna hurt anyone anymore.. I.. I don't want to be the 'bad guy' anymore, Cody.. I.. I don't want to LIVE anymore.. I can't take it.. Tell Akeia she's the best twin sister I could ask for if she ever bothers to talk to you.." Benjamin lifted his foot and started falling forwards.

He was leaning off of the edge of the building when Cody grabbed his arms and pulled him up.

Benjamin stared at him, confused. Didn't he hate him too? Everyone did except Akeia and his mother.

"Benjamin, I don't know why you think you can't change. I know you can. Anyone can" Cody started "you need support. I don't know about anyone else, but I'm here for you.."

Benjamin stayed quiet and Cody continued.

"First of all, you know you're not a girl. I do too, Benjamin. Your father says you are, Huh?"

"Yeah.. He still calls me Beatrice." Benjamin answered. He put his foot down on the ground. They started talking.

"Well, ARE you Beatrice?"

"Yeah.."

"No! You're not!" Cody shouted at him, which was rare.

"..."

"You're Benjamin, right?"

"I wish I could be.. Without getting hurt for it.."

"You can be though. You should be supported for your choice."

"He hits me, Cody.. He hurts me for my choice.. He always has...."

"That's horrible.. Do you.. Have anywhere else to go?"

"No.."

"Ah,, you shouldn't have to go home to.. That.."

"I'll probably figure something out.. Maybe.."

They continued to talk about these things

It kind of calmed Benjamin down

Enough so he didn't realize that Cody had walked with him down to the first floor and out of the skyscraper.

Benjamin felt better after talking to him

He decided he wanted to try to be better. At least better than his father.

He thanked Cody with a hug and walked off. He didn't know where he was going, but honestly? It didn't really matter to him..

Well that is all
I know it's kinda bad
But like
I really didn't know where to go with this.
I might edit it one day maybe
But like :/