it started with a house party - ben hardy

i need a friend

"Joe, I completely messed up." I sat on his couch and continued to sob. I lost the one girl who I loved with all of my being. The one who saw past the bad and helped me find the good. The one who I saw myself with for the rest of my life.

"Ben, you explained what happened. Let her think about how she should act upon this."

"I think she's going to leave me." I held my face in my hands.

"I don't want to say it's not a possibility but try to think positive. Adeline loves you with the same amount or even more love than you have for her."

"I messed up and I wasn't even able to properly fix it. I'm an asshole. I don't even think I can fix this."

"Try to think of something else. We have the promotions tomorrow!"

"She was supposed to go with me to those."

"Ahh, shit. Umm, what about your next project!! What's it?"

"A movie called 6 Underground. People go underground and fake their dead. Kill some bad guys. Fighting crime." I sat back and thought.

"Sounds interesting. I'd watch it!"

"I get to be the parkour kind of guy."

I watched Joe and could tell something was up. "What's up?"

He looked over at me. "Why did you do it?"

"If this is about what happened-"

"Of course! You have a PERFECTLY good girl who loves you. Why?"

"Joe. I was drunk. I wasn't thinking correctly. One girl had hair like Ad.."

"Can I get another reason? Besides being drunk."

"I thought one of them was her."

"Do you think Adeline would take you up there with another random girl?"

"This wouldn't have happened if we didn't go party."

"Are you trying to blame it on the party? These are your actions!! What do you think Brian's gonna do about this?"

"I DONT KNOW!" I finally shouted. "I'm leaving." I grabbed my jacket and slammed the door shut.

B: hey, i know you hate me. Just know I love you.
A: i know ben
B: I know it's early, but have you been thinking about what happened the way I have?
A: ive been wondering what made me something you didn't want.
B: I don't know if you've noticed or not, but you're the one I want.
A: you must have a type though. One girl sort of had hair like me.
B: I told joe that..I thought one girl was you because of that
A: you should've paid more attention.
B: I know and I'm sorry
A: i know you are ben. But I can't just forgive and forget. I don't know if being here is good for me anymore.
B: what do you mean here??
B: like with me??
B: or in this town??
A: i don't know
B: well you have to know! You said it!
A: Ben. I'm sorry. I'm going to bed.
B: are we still a thing or no.
A: goodnight
B: answer my question
A: i said goodnight. I'll talk to you in the morning. I might not attend the next promotion tomorrow. I'll make my decision tomorrow. Until then, my phone will be turned off.

I grumbled as I tossed my phone to the side. I drove to one place I knew I could go, and would probably never be welcomed to again. I went to Brian. I needed help.

He welcomed me in immediately and sat down a cup of tea in front of me at the dining table. Anita was there as well.

I looked at Brian, guilty as ever. I began telling him what happened. "I messed up!" I couldn't control my emotions and sat my head down, crying uncontrollably. "I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt her. I only wanted to love her. My vision was blurred and the limited light. I didn't mean for it-I just-"

"Ben, you promised you wouldn't hurt her, but you did break that promise. You have to face the consequences. However, Anita and I do know our daughter better than anyone. She absolutely loves you. I'm not telling you to hold your breath. I'm telling you that this is a serious thing. She'll need time to heal."

"I thought you'd hate my guts."

"I don't hate, son. I don't appreciate that you did that, but we all make mistakes. Roger had done the same thing when he was younger. I remember that." Brian got a little laugh out of it. "But we all make some sort of big mistake in our lives. Adeline has made some. I've made some. Anita has made some. You've made some. It's not alright that you potentially cheated. But you mentioned it was your vision and the atmosphere."

"Adeline told me one of them looked like her with the hair..so she understands that."

"You can't hound her, honey." Anita came and sat beside me. She wrapped one arm around me. "But I think it's going to be okay, Benny boy." She pulled me in.

"Give her time." Brian said and got up. "Do you need a place to stay for tonight? Just so you're not alone."

"You promise not to yell at me like Joe did?"

"I promise. You need to get some sleep. I don't know where you'd want him to rest, sweetie."

"I'll show you to the guest room." Anita smiled and led me to their guest room. "Feel free to use with shower and telly as you'd like." She gave me a reassuring smile.

"Are you sure I'm not a bother of some sort?"

"I'm positive. We're always going to be here for you, Ben."

"Thank you." Anita shut the door and I fell back on the bed. I let out a sighed and grumbled.

B: I don't wanna break up. I think we should and are capable of working through this. If a break is needed, let's take one. I don't want to lose you. I want to marry you. I want to call you my wife and mother of my children. I love you.

I turned my phone off after this and took my jacket off. I settled in and fell asleep.