Don't Touch Me (GL) [Completed]

Chapter 1

"Tulala ka na naman, Shannelle McBride."

Lumingon ako kay Kris. She's my only friend here at school but I don't really mind. Unlike other students, Kris got here in school through the scholarship program. She's on the average spectrum—like some says—pero hindi iyon naging hadlang para hindi mabuo ang friendship namin. I like her for being real and true. She's confident and she knows how to use it to face people.

"Wala naman," I told her, "makatawag ka naman sa buong name ko, pang-teacher ang dating."

Natawa siya at nag-peace sign. Napailing na lang ako. Uwian na rin naman pero nandito pa rin kami sa school. Tambay lang saglit.

"Lagi ka na lang nags-space out," Pagpuna niya sa pagtulala ko kanina. "In love ka yata, eh!"

"How did you know?" I asked teasingly. "Am I that really obvious?"

"Hoy!" Nanlaki ang mata niya. Tumalun-talon siya na parang batang excited. "Really? As in, oh, my gosh! Kanino? Sa suitor mo na candidate as the valedictorian? Or yung captain ng basketball team? Or yung singer ng school's band? Or yung—"

"Hindi!" Inirapan ko siya sa dami ng sinabi niya. Talagang halos binanggit na niya lahat ng nanliligaw sa akin. "None of the above, Kris."

"What?" Kumunot ang noo niya. "Edi sino? Don't tell me ayaw mo sa kanila?"

"Yes, they all have the looks and such but...no." I shook my head with a sigh. "I don't and I can't like any of them."

"Edi kanino ka nga in love?"

Napatingin ako sa langit, I smiled and imagined her face being drawn above. For these past years ay kabisado ko na halos ang mukha niya. "Someone that has been kept hidden in the world."

Tiningnan ko ang time sa phone ko, four-thirty na ng hapon. Almost thirty minutes na rin pala kaming nandito. I stood up and stretched my arms. I stared at my bewildered friend and gave her a knowing look. "I need to go home na. Toodles!"

"Wait lang!"

Tumakbo na ako palayo. Huminto ako saglit para lingunin siya. I waved at my best friend good bye. Napailing na lang siya at naglakad sa akin palapit.

"Baliw ka. Sabay na tayo!" sabi niya.

I chuckled and anchored my arms at her. "Okay."

Marami pa ring nabati sa'kin sa habang naglalakad kahit ganitong tapos ang school time. I just nodded my head to acknowledge them pero hindi ako ngumingiti. Hindi ko na sila binibigyang pansin sa totoo lang. I don't give a damn to those people who idolized me like I am sort of a goddess.

For some reason, I slowly became popular in this school. I'm not really doing anything na ikapapansin ko. I even tried to keep my profile low but, I don't know, they just keep on discovering information about me. It's not new to me that people find me beautiful, kapansin-pansin daw at sadyang malakas ang dating ko. Para sa akin ay hindi naman.

I don't like the attention ever since so I decided to go on with my life without minding them. Pare-parehas lang kaming mga estudyante rito. Sana magsawa na sila.

"Famous mo talaga, 'no?" Kris told me. "Buti na lang humble ka."

"Sira." I laughed. "Titigil din sila."

--

Nakarating naman ako sa bahay nang matiwasay. Hinatid ko lang muna si Kris hanggang sa may paradahan ng jeep bago tuluyang umuwi. Hindi ako nagdadala ng sasakyan, I like walking. It's always been a hobby to walk home while gazing at the sky.

Pagpasok ko ng kwarto ay nagpalit kaagad ako ng comfortable na damit. I checked my phone and saw that Mom messaged me. Ako na raw ang bahala sa pagkain ko dahil day off ng mga maids although Manang Fe already did the groceries.

Kaya pala medyo tahimik. Usually, may nakaabang sa pagdating ko, eh. Well, that's fine with me. This is not the first time na wala si Mommy ngayong day off ng mga maids. Sanay naman na ako and I don't feel lonely. Dati kasi ay si Yaya Stella ang naiiwan sa bahay. But now that she's already gone na, parang ang weird.

Yaya Stella died just a month ago because of an accident and I was really lonely. Hanggang ngayon naman ay nalulungkot pa rin ako dahil sa nangyari pero pinipilit ko na lang i-cheer up ang sarili. She's been with us since I was ten, napamahal na ako. It was really terrible, hindi man lang niya nakita si Star for the last time—I snapped my fingers—right! I almost forgot to check her!

Katulad ng nakasanayan ay pumunta ulit ako sa may headboard ng kama ko. I removed the frame na hindi ko na talaga pinatanggal kay Mom since then. I excitedly peeked on the small hole and saw my brightest...Star.

I'm already eighteen but until now my feelings for her didn't fade. I still admire her. I still want to be with her. Mas lalo ko pa rin siyang minamahal habang tumatagal. If this isn't still love, then I don't know what it is anymore. Kahit napapaligiran ako ng mga taong mas maganda, mas gwapo o talented sa kanya, si Star pa rin. Siya pa rin ang mahal ko. Walang-walang sila compared to her.

I looked at her lovingly. I saw the sadness lingering in her eyes. She's not okay. I always feel lonely when I see her like that—in that situation. Gano'n pa rin ito. These past few days ay palagi ko na lang siyang nakikita na nakatulala. Usually, nagbabasa lang talaga ito ng books but today is different. She's been acting like that since her mother died. Star is spacing out.

I know she's mourning, too, because of her deceased mother. Alam ko na kahit hindi siya nagpapakita ng any emotions, or kahit hindi nagsasalita, alam ko na nasasaktan siya. Nanay niya pa rin naman ang nawala. Alam ko na kahit hindi niya masyadong nakakasama si Yaya Stella, mahal na mahal niya rin ito.

Sana talaga nakapunta man lang si Star sa libing ni Yaya Stella. Kung wala lang talaga siyang sakit...

Ibinalik ko na rin yung frame sa puwesto nito at kinuha ang isang particular na book na matagal ko na ring binili. It's a psychology book about phobias. I bought it after my Mom told me na may sakit siya. I flipped the book open, turning it to a specific page.

Haphephobia is an intense and often irrational fear of being touched or of coming into physical contact with other people, regardless of who that other person may be. Like other types of phobias, this is a psychological disorder that manifests through a number of physiological responses. This is a relatively rare and uncommon disorder, though it can be exceptionally debilitating for someone suffering from it due to the nature of the fear.

Haphephobia is typically treated like other phobias through behavioral and cognitive therapies, which often involve trying to determine any root cause and then dealing with such causes.

Napailing na lang ako habang nagbabasa. Sinara ko na ang libro at napahiga na lang sa kama ko. This case is really impossible. Dahil sa phobia ni Star, ni hindi ko man lang siya mahawakan or malapitan man lang.

But I need to do something. I know I just have to. I can't wait any longer. Ang dami nang nawala sa kanya. If no one will stand up for her, then I will.

I will do my best para malagpasan ni Star ang takot niya. She's not ill, she has no mental issues either, at least, that's what I honestly think about her. She just needs someone that will always be there for her and will help her.

I'm willing to be that someone for her. Gagawin ko ang lahat para sa kanya and I swear to start as soon as possible.

_____