Just a little crazy (finished)

chapter 33

TW- some transphobic comments. 

Thank you all so much for over 1k votes! And all the views as well! i screamed when i saw tha numbers! longer chapter then usual hope you enjoy! 

Denki's pov

My whole life I've been looked down on. Told that I was to young to understand, to stupid to succeed in life, that I was just going through a phase in my life that one day I'd look back onto and laugh. Laugh at how stupid I was to think that what I felt could have possibly been real.

Even my parents, as hard as they try, don't understand. Believe that one day, I'll wake up and prove them right. That this was just a ploy to garner attention, a phase that I will soon forget about much like my emo one. They love me, don't get me wrong, and I have a much better family then some people I know, its just that they wont even try to understand me. see it from my point of view. They won't even call me by my name, claiming that it makes them uncomfortable.

I don't think they knew how much it hurt. I don't think anyone knew, or even cared for that matter. After all, if they had cared, shouldn't they have tried harder?

I had no one who cared enough to realise how much it hurt.

I grew up alone in that sense, believing that I was a freak, that no one would accept me, not even my own mate, if they learnt the truth. I was wrong, of course, he accepted me with open arms, the same going for my brother not of blood but choice. They became what I wished my family was, my anchor, my confidence. I didn't have to hide behind fake smiles and stupid jokes.

But that fear that they wouldn't accept me as who I am, it was paralysing. I hated it and hate that that same fear is stopping many others from becoming comfortable. Hell, over half the people I know are still in the dark.

"it's none of there business." Kirishima used to tell me, deku always quick to agree. But I couldn't help but feel like a liar, a fake. And I hated the thought of having friends who would turn their backs on me if only they knew the truth.

Even the mere thought of having friends who would turn there back on me in an instant was terrifying. I constantly felt itchy, on edge, like I couldn't trust the people who laughed and joked with me. As if the people I spend my time with are really just slimy eels hiding behind masks. Silently waiting for something to show up so they have an excuse to turn their backs on me, embarrass and use me like the many people before them did.

So, with a lot of help from deku, I wrote a song that I was supposed to sing at the talent show our school was hosting.

Sitting here in the auditorium with a newly gained performance anxiety, I've come to realize that I regret that choice.

Unfortunately, Deku, E and even Shinso are not letting me back out.

So, here I was, watching and waiting until my name was called for all to hear.

I couldn't wait!

"if I run now," I whisper to shinso who was seated next to me. "do you think I'd make it?"

"nope!" E chirps from beside me, popping the p and linking out hands together with his usual bounce.

Sending the redhead a weak glare I sink down into my seat, ignoring Shinso's soft chuckles and Deku's nervous mumbling,

Somethings never change, I muse.

Glancing towards the back of my room I catch sight of my parents, heart dropping at the sign with that name painted on it.

Even if you wish they would...

"babe, your up," E whispers to me, gently taking hold of my chin, bring my gaze away from my parents.