Just a little crazy (finished)

chapter 15

warning slight mention of self harm and a bit of violence 

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I don't register the gasps, nor the yells of my fellow classmates. I didn't notice my brothers and shinso standing up, all looking worried. I didn't hear Uraraka's whispering, or the fact that half the class was listening to her like there life depended on it. I didn't even notice my nails, turning into claws and sticking into flesh, a puddle of blood already forming.

My breathing hitched when all the emotions that were cut off seconds ago came rushing at me, drowning me as my mates slowly walk towards me. neither looked happy, and I couldn't seem to figure out exactly it was that they were feeling, except for anger and hurt.

"I can explain..." I say, but it doesn't feel real, they don't sound like my words. It's like I'm watching some awful movie, unable to do anything to stop what is going to happen no matter how much I scream. Unable to change the plot no matter how much I rewind or beg.

It takes a moment for katchan's voice to reach my ears, and I soon find myself wishing I never head it at all.

"explain..." his voice was soft, quiet, and yet so loud to my own ears. "explain, okay... go ahead and explain why you fucking lied to us!" he continued, voice starting off like a young child finding out there mother was taken from them only to end in a harsh scream. I don't flinch, tears slowly pooling down my face as my blood drips onto the floor. The loud noise woke up the tired pro, who almost immediately realized what was going on, to shocked to say anything.

"please katch-"

"no! you were right there! You saw how me and Shoto were tearing ourselves apart! Trying to find out mate. Trying to find you! you knew that we were getting no sleep! Barely eating! Putting on this show for all these extras so we didn't make anyone worry! And yet we were looking for someone who didn't want to be found!? Who was to selfish to say anything?! Are you can't honestly say you think we'd reject you, not after seeing how desperate we were or the fact that we already hand out with you!"

"no-"

"shut up deku! Just shut it! you sat back and watched us suffer with a smile on your face! Hung out with us like nothing was wrong! I- I trusted you! we both did... stupid me right?" his voice cracked, the tears he was holding back finally spilling.

"It's a shame to... I actually liked you," he whispers. "just my luck though, for someone I actually liked and hoped to be with other then icy hot to hurt me, betray me like this..." he doesn't spare me another glance before he's running out of the classroom, leaving both me and Todoroki behind.

I turn to the dual quirk user, eyes desperate and wet, hands shaking as my claws strike the bone, breathing laboured as pain surges through my body. The kind of pain that no medication can fix.

"Todoroki... please..." my voice comes out as a broken whisper, desperation clear. The events to where I hurt my mates more than I had ever wanted to.

"don't. I don't need your excuses. We could have figured it out together, you could have trusted us Midoriya..." a single tear falls down his cheek before he runs after his blonde mate.

I'm left standing there, the classroom silent save from the steady dripping of my blood. Shinso, Kaminari and Kirishima all look as if they want to comfort me, however, they, like everyone else, are frozen to the spot, absorbing everything that had just happen. My tears quickly run dry, however the pain never left me. It was infecting, spreading from one place to another before all I could think about were the events that just took place.

Does this mean they've rejected me?

Probably... I wouldn't want me as a mate either. Especially after what had just happened...

Everyone's heads snap to me at the sound of my giggle, watching in slight fear and concern as a drop to my knees, ripping my claws out of my flesh and grapping handfuls of my unruly hair. The tears were back, slowly dripping down my face, but I was giggling none the less. In an instant shinso, denki and kiri are all by my side, aziwa not to far behind.

There mouths were moving, I just couldn't seem to hear them. I couldn't hear them trying to calm me down, nor could I hear Uraraka spreading yet another rumour about me.

Al I could hear was them.

Yelling, screaming, laughing...

I thought I had gotten rid of them, but no. all of them were back, every last one. And in the mist were the two that have been there the whole time, joining in on the fun as all of them overload my senses with lies that I believe.

Useless

Unwanted

Such a deku

Worthless

Ugly

Unloved

Murder

Crazy

The list went on and on and while the classroom had gone silence again (except for my giggling) I was hearing anything but. The students seemed to take a collective in take of breath when my giggling came to an end, a pregnant silence before Uraraka speaks.

"see? What have I told you? he's crazy! Any-"

Before she could finish her sentence, I was on top of her, eye twitching as the voices persisted. I didn't ignore them nor try to block them out, instead, I let them in, fighting them had become to exhausting.

"deku-"

"oh shush, I won't do anything. Probably..." I cut the red-haired boy off, tilting my head to the side with a bored look as I stare down at the terrified beta beneath me.

"you know what Nasa? You're right! I am, as you would say, crazy. Just a little bit though... I mean how could I not be? I lied to the two greatest people alive- my mates- thinking it was for, get this, the greater good. But I just then realized, actually that's a lie, I've realized for a little bit now, that I couldn't care less about what happens for the greater good, because look what happened to me because of it-"

"you little-" I cut the squirming girl beneath me off my slamming my fist into her mouth, a small from forming when I felt aziwa's restraint tool wrapping around my wrist, not pulling me off the girl but preventing me from causing her further damage.

"I don't like being interrupted, especially from people who are below me... literally and metaphorically." I speak, before continuing, "now... where was I? oh, right, I actually was done." I give off a small smirk upon receiving a glare from the pink cheeked girl. Along with half the class, though there fear of, and even worry for me, was still radiating off them like a bad smell. I don't blame them for the fear, I mean, I could easily hurt them with a flick of my finger. I'm not exactly touched by the worry however, more annoyed then anything.

In an instant I was standing back up an=gain, no longer restrained for I had managed to get lose on my own. Sensei aziwa didn't try to restrain me again, however he was still on full alert, watching my every move.

Jeez, punch on girl and suddenly you're the bad guy.

Shinso goes to say something, but before he can even open his mouth, I'm out the door, threatening anyone who follows me. I could hear Aziwa tell my bothers and best friend to leave me alone, that I need time. He's not wrong, I do need time, but I have a feeling that if he knew why I needed that time, if he knew what I was about to do to myself, he wouldn't have let me out of his sight.