Just a little crazy (finished)

chapter 43

short chapter, sorry

Deku's POV

Have you ever had that feeling where you know something bad was going to happen and you couldn't do a damn thing about it? Like when someone throws a ball at your face that's way to fast for you to dodge. Or maybe when a family member gets a life-threatening sickness. Perhaps that one aunt is coming over for the holidays and your sitting there in your comfort clothes that happen to be a little to 'queer' for her taste. It's even worse when you know it was your own actions that led to the events. You called out to the bully holding the soccer ball. You dragged your sister into the sun unprotected one to many times. You failed to tell your parents that you didn't want Karan over for the break when you knew of you did, they would have listened because let's be honest, no one likes her.

You know what's going to happen. You know that your future will have a pain you could really go without, and yet there's not a single thing you can do aside from sitting back and watching from afar. Doing your best to deal with the after math.

Well yeah, that's kinda what I felt like now.

Sitting here in a room I've learnt to call my own, a metallic taste in the air and my brothers stress wafting in through the gap under the door whilst I waited for the fated guest to arrive.

Dread. That was all I felt.

Don't ask me how, or why, but I didn't trust this meeting to turn out well. I fact I had half a mind to go out and tell shinso to cancel.

I didn't.

Instead, I grabbed the fragrance spray I'd been using, covered the currented not so nice smell, and took my position down by the door, back against the hard wood, waiting.

Big mistake.

I knew the moment they arrived. Instantly, even though there's quiet the distance between my room and the front entrance, the two alphas scents filled my nose, distracting my thoughts and freezing my lungs.

Stupid mate bond

My brothers were the first ones to arrive at my door, both simply standing there, hesitating, before a knock was heard.

"Hey Deku." Oh, how good it felt to hear their voices. Much like how pain killers work, the infuriating pain that had filled my chest the instant my two mates had entered this house numbed.

It was still there but god, did their voices sooth it.

I hadn't even realised I was crying until the faint taunting of the voices in my head reached me through my mess of thoughts.

"Hey guys..." I whisper in return, listening as they exchange some hushed words.

"don't worry, they're happy tears," hearing the breathless laugh my words drew out I allow a smile of its own takes over my face, eyes closing as Denki rambles on and on about some dorm fire that, and I quote, 'totally wasn't my fault.'

"Denki... Even Eri, a seven-year-old, knows not to put a metal fork into the microwave..." I say slowly, a smirk slowly replacing my smile when all I get in response is a 'metal forks can't go in the microwave... well it's not like that's what caused the explosion... right?'

When a silence takes over, I pull my knees up to my chest, face going blank before I hid it between my knees.

"We've really missed you Deku..." Kirishima speaks up, sounding closer than before.

"yeah, school hasn't been the same without you. I couldn't even enjoy it when Uraraka was punched in the face by some second year because you weren't there to witness it."

Uraraka was punched? Dammit, how is it every time I ditch something good happens!

"I've missed you too... I just-... I couldn't-..." choking on a silent sob I harshly press the palms of my hands into my closed eyes, willing away the tears that were gathering faster then the black dots that were now invading my vision.

"I know. We know, Deku. And... and we're proud of you. For letting them come over, that is." After a moment pause the red-haired wolf continues, sounding as if he were moving away.

"We'll be just down the hallway if you need us. Or if they mess up. Again." Listening as they shuffle away, I sigh and rest my head atop of my knees, eyes closing on their own accord as I struggle to reign in my thoughts.

All too soon is there a new knock at the door.

"Deku, you there?" You now things aren't right when the sound of your mate's voice, a sound that's supposed to bring you joy and a sense of home, destroys the safe numb feeling your brothers once gifted you with.

Kacchan was the one to speak, his voice rough as if he had been crying. They were both there, I could smell it even through the heavy cloud of lemon fragrance, and yet I had the distinct feeling only one was going to participate in this conversation unless provoked.

Well, that makes two of us.

Choosing to ignore the blondes question I climb to my feet, pausing with my hand resting on the wooden door before letting it fall, shuffling over to the unused bed with a sigh.

"Deku, I know your in there. I can hear you."

Maybe I should get some sleep, it's been a while after all. Then again, I could really go without the inevitable nightmares.

There's another pause and some shuffling followed by a sigh. "Deku... please..." Closing my eyes as my breathing becomes harsh, I hug my own body, hating the hurt tone decorating my mates voice.

How is this fair?

How come he gets to use that voice

Did I do something wrong to make him hurt or is he just guilty?

Doubt it, its Kacchan for goddess sakes, he never regrets anything.

Stop being a cry baby

Just answer him, I thought you weren't going to do what they did, or are you a liar to?

"What Katsuki? What could you possibly want?" I get out, ignoring the two arguing voices as I collapse onto the stiff bed, clearing my throat when my voice came out weaker then intended.

After a tense silence my question is answered, "We want to say sorry, please Deku-"

Thinking back on it, I really should have kept quiet, let him finish whatever it was he was going to say.

But of course, life never goes my way and my impulsive self had to go and explode.

I really should have told Shinso to cancel.