Just a little crazy (finished)

chapter 37

it is here! i really am sorry for the wait 

tw- mentions of cheating i guess? someone told me this could be triggering so... yeah

Kacchan's pov

I watch as Deku picks at his nails, feigning ignorance as his friends (eew, who has time for friends?) all shouted at him, though about what, I had no clue. The few words I had caught- snakes, anxiety and ratmen?- hadn't filled me in at all. And when denki stood up with a start, face red, and shouted, "how could you ship them? prinxiety is life!" I wasn't the only one confused.

Deku only giggled- and oh

I don't think I've ever heard something so beautiful yet so... broken.

It hurt. Not only to hear such a broken melody but to think that I'm not the one that brought him enough joy to draw the music out.

He cheated on you, the words were whispered from the darkest parts of my mind yet couldn't have been louder, enough for me to drag my eyes away from the damn nerds perfect, radiant, innocent- no, stop it!

He cheated on you and you still love him? still fantasize about him? how pathetic!

"I know, but..." I hardly register the fact that I've replied to the annoying voice called a subconcise as my eyes drift back over to Deku, watching as he throws himself across his friends laps, earning him amused groans and chuckles before the all push him down onto the floor with a thud.

"I just... I wonder what it would be like if he hadn't hid from us..."

"but he did," the new voice startled me, my eyes once again leaving Deku's shaking body from repressed laughter to meet the mismatched eyes off my other- only, you can't call that cheater yours- mate.

He wasn't looking at me, but instead at the green haired nerd, something close to hidden heart break shining through his blank eyes. "he may have had a reason, god I hope he had a reason-" his voice broke, eyes straining as if he was trying to look away from Deku only to push his tongue against the inside off his cheek and give up, shaking his head slightly.

"but... but cheating on us? There's no excuse for that sparky..."

"what-... what if he didn't though? What if-?"

I was cut short when Shoto's fingers grasped my chin, gently moving my head to look him in the eyes. I've never seen him so tired before.

"babe... we've been through this... Uraraka showed as a photo... we saw him in another man's arms..." I wasn't one to cuddle nor back down from something, especially in public, but the look in his eyes told me he was one more word away from breaking down. So, I drop it, lowering my misty eyes and shuffling over to cuddle into his body. He doesn't hesitate when wrapping his arms around my shaking body, his own chest rising unsteadily as he struggled to keep his emotions at bay.

I don't look back at Deku after that, soon straddling my mate's lap with my tear streaked face buried in his neck, his arms snaked around my waist in a tight hold.

"I just wish-..." his voice was strained, as if it were taking all his energy to get the words out. When he trailed off, I lift my head up slightly, just enough to see his face, and freeze upon seeing the tears in his eyes.

My thoughts slammed into a brick wall, not knowing how to deal with this new situation. Shoto didn't cry. ever. The few times I had seen him cry had been in privacy when he either didn't know I was there or had trusted me enough to let his walls down. I wasn't sure why he was so scared about showing emotion, and I didn't push the subject either. I was and still am worried about it, but It isn't my place to force it out of him.