30 Days & Counting - Sanders Sides

Day 30

Trigger Warnings: So. Much. Crying.

I didn't want to get up this morning. I thought maybe, just maybe, if I stayed in bed, I wouldn't have to leave. I wouldn't have to go home. I wouldn't have to be somewhere my friends, my family, weren't. However, I knew that wasn't the truth.

A knock on our door broke me from my thoughts, along with waking Roman. He jumped out of bed to get the door while I stayed in bed, staring off at the ceiling. Dr. Picani walked in our room, a gentle smile on his face. "Hey there, Virgil. You awake?" He asked me.

"Yeah." I grumbled, wanting him to leave.

"Okay, well, your mother will be here in about two hours. I suggest to get yourself ready, grab some breakfast, and then pack your stuff. Okay?" I nodded, starting to feel tears against my eyes already. I wasn't ready to leave.

Roman watched Picani shut the door as he left, gazing back to me with his tired eyes. I sat up in my bed, rubbing my eyes and looking at him, worried this would be the last time I'd be able to look at him. "You heard, Picani." He whispered, walking up to me. I sprung out at him, catching him in a hug. I buried my face into his chest, willing myself not to cry.

"I don't want to go. I don't want to leave you. Or the others." I whined. Roman sighed, returning my hug. He stroked my hair, shushing my sobbing throat.

"I know, Love. But you've healed. There is nothing more this place can teach you. You're ready to leave and you know it." He told me, lifting my chin to meet his eyes. I nodded, sniffling once more. "Now, why don't you go wash up?" I took his suggestion and walked into the bathroom. He handed me my last clean uniform as I slipped it off and turned on the water.

I don't think I've ever enjoyed a cold shower more. It wasn't the fact I had grown used to it, but the fact that it held a memory in it. A memory of a time I had the second day I was here.

I stepped out of the shower and dried myself off. I gave myself a glare in the mirror. Roman was right. I had changed. For the best, of course. I can manage my anxieties, my stutter is gone, and my depression doesn't govern my choices anymore. I am me again. But that doesn't mean I want to leave.

I patted my hair dry and slipped on my uniform. I walked back into the room, throwing my towel on my bed. Roman was sitting on his bed, fully dressed and his hair brushed. "Hungry?" He questioned. I just nodded.

We walked out of the room and down the hallway. My hand was tightly grasped in Roman's. I read the names on the door's of other patients as we walked. Remus Prince & Damion King. Logan Croft & Patton Smalls. I did that, just like I did on the first day here.

We entered the cafeteria, grabbing trays and making our way down the line. I wasn't hungry, my stomach felt like it had a pit in it. But that didn't stop me from grabbing some oatmeal and toast. As I waited for my toast, I looked inside the kitchen. I saw the lunch ladies scurrying around, making food and serving it. It reminded me of Patton and I breaking into the kitchen to make a cake for Damion on the thirteenth day here.

I walked over to our table, Roman at my heels. We sat down, gaining a look from the others. I could tell everyone's energy was lower than most days. Patton continued to silently pick at his toast as Remus mindlessly flung eggs at the wall. Much like he flung potatoes at the wall like on the eleventh day here.

"So...how are you feeling, Virgil?" Logan dared to ask. This caught Remus and Damion's attention as they looked up at me, wondering what I was going to say.

"Scared." I sighed, slowly losing my appetite.

"Maybe if you tell that to Picani he'll let you stay longer!" Remus joked, trying to lighten the black mood. We giggled at that, trying to keep our spirits up by talking and sharing memories from our time together. I finished my breakfast, my stomach churning like an ice cream machine.