If I Were Allowed To Love You

Thirteen

It was a challenge to force herself to forget about Ryan. After dinner at his house on that Sunday night, Melissa helped clean up, stayed for dessert and coffee, and called her dad to pick her up early so she could leave. Despite the large amount of fun she had talking with Louise and Tanner, she knew she would have to wait to get over Ryan before seeing them again.

The best way she could avoid seeing him was by choosing to sit at a desk in the middle of the library rather than sit in the lounge chairs by the front desk. Every day she walked in, she noticed Ryan look up and smile at her, though his smile grew sadder as they days went on where she would walk away from him to get her work done. It was the main reason she came to the library in the first place, and separating herself from him allowed her to get her work done. For the first time in weeks, she understood why Pride and Prejudice was such a beautiful book.

That Friday, she walked into the library once again with her backpack slung over her shoulder. She glanced at the desk to find Ryan checking someone out. She gave him a slight head nod as she walked further into the library to where the furthest available table was from him. She didn't miss the sadness lingering in that smile, the despair in his eyes. She wished she could stop it from reflecting in her own, but she knew it would be best to have some space from him. It would be good for him as well.

"What happened between you two?" Alexa questioned as she glanced up from the computer she sat at.

"I'm not sure. Things went great on Sunday, but now she's ignoring me."

"Has Theo mentioned anything?"

"He's tried bringing up his family, but it doesn't stir any reaction in her. It's the same as always." He sighed. "I wonder if I did do something to piss her off."

"I'm sorry," she pouted. "You really liked her, didn't you?"

"Yes," he whispered, swallowing past a lump in his throat. "But if she doesn't feel the same way, I can't force anything."

"At least you're taking this quite maturely."

"Of course," he stated. "The last thing I'd ever want to do is make her uncomfortable. If being close to her causes that, then I'm going to stay away."

Ryan excused himself as he walked into the back office, and Mark leaned back into his chair as he frowned at him. "You know she has to come around eventually."

"I'm not having this conversation at work," Ryan stated as he grabbed his cart to put books away.

"You two are mates," he sang under his breath, but Ryan ignored him. Just because they were mates didn't mean things would be easy between them. If he had to give them space, then he would. All he could do was hope Theo would ease her mind over the idea of dating him, allowing her to know that he was okay with her dating his brother. More than anything, Ryan knew he needed to kiss Melissa's cheek. He knew just the way to do it, but he needed a yes from her first.

Rolling the cart out to the bookshelves, he spotted Melissa packing her backpack and standing up. As she pushed her chair in, she glanced up at Ryan. She did a double take, fully processing that he was there. "Oh," she whispered, and he glanced over at her.

"Hey," he softly said as he slid a book onto the shelf.

"Hey." Gripping onto the backpack straps, she took a step closer to him. "How's work?"

"Going well. I no longer have a cute girl distracting me," he teased as he continued to put the books away. When she didn't say anything, he looked up at her with a soft smile. "I'm just joking."

"Oh," she said, releasing a nervous chuckle.

"I do miss you sitting nearby. It's always nice to see you."

"Yeah," she whispered, scratching behind her ear. "It's just...well, I came here in order to get my reading done and study before I head to work, and since I always talked with you and got distracted by sitting over there, I thought I'd come back here to actually get my work done. I'm not wanting to go to summer school, you know."

"I know you won't," Ryan stated. "And if you ever need someone to help you study, I don't mind helping. I'm studying English now to get my master's in library sciences. I don't mind tutoring you if you need it."

Bashfully smiling, Melissa said, "That'd be nice. Thank you. I'll let you know."

As she turned to walk away, Ryan didn't want to watch her go. Though he knew she had to leave for work, he longed to spend more time with her. Quality time. Alone time. And there was a chance to do so the next day. He called out to Melissa, hoping for an opening. If she agreed, then he knew he had a better chance to be with her. If she didn't, then he knew where he stood. No matter what, he wanted to remain close to her in her life.

Being a friend first seemed like the best option, and for all he knew, she may have been his mate solely because they were meant to be friends and nothing more. In the end, they were made for each other in their own way. He wanted to learn more about her, become her friend before anything could happen.

"Yes?" she questioned, turning to face him.

"Tomorrow...there's a meat faire at Landon High. There's going to be rides, and food, meat, obviously, and live music. Would you like to go?"

"Is Theo going to be there?"

"I think he's working tomorrow. I understand if you don't want to go alone. I thought it would be fun to hang out."

"Hang out?"

"I like talking with you," he stated. "The only time we ever got to was when you sat by the desks. You're friends with Theo, and if you're important to him, then I want you to be important to me too. Anyone who he loves and cares about I want to get to know better. Plus, like I said, I like talking to you. I'd like to hang out and talk some more."

"I have work tomorrow morning," she stated, crossing her arms and kicking at the carpet gently.

"I understand."

"But I have the evening free. What time does it close?"

He smiled wide. "Ten at night."

"At Landon High, you said?"

"Yes."

"I'll meet you there at four," she stated before leaving. If he enjoyed talking like friends, she assumed there would be nothing wrong with that. She'd get to know him better, spend more time with him, and hopefully realize that they were meant to be nothing more than friends. With Theo being in her life for good, she knew she wanted to be close with his family. That included Ryan. And she enjoyed their conversations, too. Spending one evening alone with him would be easy, she assumed. She hoped.

Smiling wide, Ryan excitedly pushed the empty cart back behind the desks and into the backroom. When Mark raised a quizzical brow at him, Ryan simply winked before walking back out front.

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