If I Were Allowed To Love You

Thirty-Two

Work was cut short that day. The truck closed down, the desserts were stored away for the next day in record time, and Theo quickly drove home with music blaring so Lucas would not be able to reprimand him for kissing him.

Why did he kiss him? He knew that a kiss would ignite the mate bond, and he wasn't supposed to kiss him until Melissa felt an emotional connection to Ryan. He didn't want to break her heart, she wanted him to break Lucas's. That way he would be there to help him feel loved once again. He went and ruined his best friend's life by igniting the bond, and he felt incredibly guilty over it.

How pissed was Melissa going to be when she found out what he did? If anything, he could play it off as an accident probed by the intensity of the conversation and the way one would feel for a companion. But lying and saying that Lucas was a companion and not his mate was wrong. He loved Lucas. He was his mate. He didn't regret it.

However, he did regret hurting his mate and the happiness he created for himself. Lucas was happily, blissfully in love with someone else. Although he could have had a mate who vowed to love him and protect him, too, Lucas chose to be with someone else. But if Lucas knew there was a choice to make, would he choose Theo? And if Melissa knew, what choice would she make?

Just thinking about Melissa upset him. He knew he should be reprimanding himself for what he did, festering in his guilt, but he knew he had to live with what he did. He was excited because as long as he didn't tell Lucas that they were mates, Lucas would soon fall in love with him. He was looking forward to spending a lifetime with him, but he first needed to know just what was going on through Lucas's mind.

Pulling into the garage, the moment Theo turned the music off, Lucas faced him and said, "I really do think we should talk about what-"

"No," Theo stated and exited the truck. He sped-walked to the house entrance in the garage and stepped into the kitchen to find Ryan at the counter. "Why are you home?"

"Melissa began to feel light headed, so I took her home. Why are-"

"Is she okay?" Lucas panicked as he ran to the stairs.

"She's napping," he called out without looking away from Theo. "Why are the two of you home?"

Gesturing his head to the garage, Theo led Ryan into his truck. They sat in the front seats, and Ryan glared at his brother. "What the fuck did you do?"

"I kissed Lucas," Theo grunted as he flopped his head onto the top of the steering wheel.

"Are you shitting me right now?" Ryan exclaimed. "Melissa doesn't feel the pull to me yet. She's not ready to give up Lucas."

"I know, and I feel guilty about it, but you weren't in here."

"What happened?"

Theo explained their touching, the tough conversation, and Lucas's declaration of protection. Ryan stared wide eyed at Theo, and he stared back, scared of what Ryan's reaction would be. "I know I screwed up-"

"He already felt the bond," he mumbled.

"What?"

"Le-le-let's not forget that he was also jealous over the idea of you settling for Ross- And now he's trying to get closer to you," Ryan rambled. "I think he might have already been feeling the mate pull. Did he kiss you back?"

Blushing, Theo stared out the windshield flabbergasted. "Yeah. I think so. I didn't notice, because I snapped back to reality and began to freak out and pushed him off me." He slumped his head into his hands. "I really fucked up."

"At least you'll have your mate now."

"But Melissa..."

Sighing as well, Ryan placed his hand on Theo's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "She'll forgive you once she knows the truth. She'll understand."

"She's going to be pissed, because I am not telling Lucas he's my mate," he stated. "Not yet."

"Really?"

He shook his head. "Not until he's in love with me, because he could still choose to ignore the bond for the sake of Melissa. So long as she's in love with Lucas and not you, I don't want to interfere with her happiness. Or his. Now I need to figure out how I'm going to tell Melissa that I kissed her fiancée on accident...despite how it wasn't accidental at all." 

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